Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Bathroom Humor

Back in the very early days of this blog, I wrote a post about someone answering the cell phone in the bathroom.

I don't have LOTS of pet peeves . . . I think . . . but the bathroom, by the nature of what's going on in there tends to be a place where rules are fairly rigid. And so, when things are seemingly out of whack, people notice. The problem is that no one is comfortable talking about this issue.

Well, since I've gone there before, I thought I'd go back again.

Just moments ago, I went to the bathroom. There was some person I don't know in there. I don't know him, maybe I've never even seen him in the building before.

But he caught my eye from the minute I walked in. The reason? We looked over his shoulder when I walked in.

"Why would you do that?" I wondered to myself. "I don't think I have ever looked over my shoulder here in this bathroom. What is this guy afraid of?"

Because that must be the reason, right? What other reason would you have to do that when you are standing there at the urinal. Is he expecting someone? Is a drug deal going down? A quick game of dice? Are they gonna smoke a joint?

And if it's none of the above, then what ARE you afraid of TwitchyDude? My third floor office bathroom isn't exactly a "rough" neighborhood. I don't think someone is going to sneak up behind you while you handle your business and knife you in the kidney. Maybe that sort of thing went down in your previous place of employment, but I don't think it has happened here since the building opened in 1999.

So . . . that was odd. But it gets WORSE!

I followed the rule of standing with an empty buffer urinal between us (plus the wall-mounted dividers, of course). We were the only two and he thoughtfully positioned himself alongside the wall so that the next person could do so (or to minimize an attack from the right?). Another person arrived (I didn't see as I didn't flinch . . . maybe TwitchyDude did) and came between us. Again, perfectly reasonable since the fourth urinal is the "short" one that is apparently placed in all bathrooms for those less in stature or for children.

(That wasn't worse . . . this is.)

TwitchyDude finished first and relocated to the sinks. I was next and when I got there I noticed that he was reinserting his shirt and fidgeting with his pants and belt at the sink, rather than doing it beforehand.

I found this to be an odd choice. Shouldn't this be done in the "privacy" of the urinal zone rather than in the more "public" zone of the sinks, in full view of the full length wall mirror?

Again, it seemed strange.

Well, I washed carefully and got the heck out of there before the NEXT weird thing occurred. But I did notice that he hadn't washed his hands yet . . . and he'd had time after he finished his pants.

Hmmm . . . is he one of those?

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