Football Counter-Programming 2021: Week 1

It is hotter outside than it has been all summer long. But that won't stop me from telling you the inevitable fact that college football is popping up on your Saturday television screens. 

And so, even though it doesn't at all give off the traditional vibes of crisp autumn weekends, raccoon coats and tiny triangular pennants, or seasonal leaves . . . it IS college football season. And so, I must fulfill my duty of presenting you with some Football Counter-Programming.

I simply MUST do it, you see? It is a key defining feature of Why Won't You Grow?! (Especially since I let the coronavirus trip me up last year and I failed to post a Fall TV Preview post--which I had faithfully done . . . in some capacity . . . since 2004.

But that's okay. Time and change and water under the bridge and all that.

And, truthfully, I shouldn't let COVID be the sole blame for why I didn't post a Fall TV Preview post last year. If I'm truly being reflective and honest about myself, there just isn't much happening on Fall TV worth talking about anymore. I spend most of my TV time on premium cable channels and streaming services anymore. And mainstream televised entertainment is really not living up to it right now. Maybe it'll find its way back. And my focus in the past was to make as much fun of what was bad about TV as what might have been good. So maybe I can also find my way back to that blogging tradition. 

But right now, I'm here to counter-program. So counter-program I shall.

And you might be able to guess from opening GIF what I'm going to talk about?

Oh BOY! How do you like THEM apples, eh?

You surely can't be surprised that I am excited about a Spider-Man movie. If you have known my in my life since 2002, you know that I have a long history of loving Spider-Man movies. I once spend weeks of office lunches defending my beloved Tobey Maguire against any and all comers (especially that punk Jake Gyllenhaal). And while Tobey's time in the red-and-blue suit came and went, I still do believe--even after ranking so many Marvel movies--that his Spider-Man 2 is one of the best comic book movies ever made.

And you may have heard rumors about this movie that we could get a multi-versal convergence of Maguire, Andrew Garfield, and Tom Holland all together at once. None of that is obvious in the trailer above. But we are certainly getting villain teases from the previous Spider-verses. And speaking of those "verses," you also should know how deeply I love Spider-Man: Enter the Spiderverse, which was not only technologically amazing animation but a well thought out story and an engaging entry into multiple Peter Parkers and all of that particular chaos that the MCU is building Phase 4 around.

So--the stars are absolutely aligning. And let me be on the record here to say that I absolutely enjoyed Andrew Garfield's time in the suit. I don't understand why his version of Peter was as maligned as people seem to see it. I truly hope that he joins the madness of No Way Home. And if Tobey Maguire is also not in it somehow, I will be sorely disappointed.

But not INCREDIBLY disappointed. Because, to me, even a bad Spider-Man movie is a better time than many other good movies.

Because I AM the guy that said he would willingly take on the risk of amputating my arm is getting radioactive spider venom injected into me might result in spidey powers. And I stand by that commitment even today.

So . . . don't spend your time today watching college football. If it is too hot to go outside, just sit down and watch that trailer on a loop for a few hours. Or even better, put on your own Spider-Man movie marathon. You can't be a wall crawler or a web head. But you can't throw a football 40 yards either.

Until next week true believers!