Wednesday, April 22, 2020


Finally! Something fun and diverting to blog about that isn't being stuck in my house day after day or something about the worries of the future!
Let's get back to the nonsense that has defined WWYG?! for almost 1.5 proud decades. (Can you believe I've been periodically trying to waste your time like this for SO LONG?)

What, you say?


So, let's really get into it. What sort of Avenger team would I put together with $15?

1. Obviously, I want to just buy three Captain Americas and move on. Or maybe one Cap and two Spidermen and just buy nuggets with my change. But that is shortsighted and not the mark of a quality leader or a smart General Manager.

2. The complete disrespect shown for Falcon and Winter Soldier here is hard to forgive. (And if you think that is based on their proximity to Cap . . . well, then, you are right.)

3. Also--what are the rules? (Other than the dollar limit?) How many people should be on a team? Is three too few? Is there an expected number? My gut reaction landed on five members. But that is--of course--based on the money I spent and not solely on the fact that I think five is optimal. But anything less than four seems too risky. If you can explain the psychology behind that assumption, please do fill me in.

4. But enough complaints. Who would my team actually be? Let's break it down.

First, my most important pick is Spiderman for $4.

Anyone who knows me can't be surprised by this pick. I've loved Spiderman for years. And I've seriously debated in my head ways to tattoo something Spidey related on my own ordinary body. I've even recently stated that I would willingly inject myself with possible genetics-altering serum in the minuscule chance that I might become Spiderman! Even if it went horribly wrong and I had to then amputate the injected arm! Why? 

Because a slight chance to be Spiderman is better than absolutely no chance. 

I've never had great body coordination, so his agility is extremely tempting. His confidence and his otherwise "ordinariness" is also great. But as much as ANY of that, his superhero costume is unbeatably the best costume design ever. Comic book artists make a living redesigning great ideas . . . but even the changes they've made over the years doesn't diminish the essential power of Spiderman's look.

Spiderman isn't Captain America. And I'm sad to lose Steve. But . . . Spiderman--as presented by Tom Holland in the MCU--is Tony Stark lite. So, I feel that I'm getting $0.50 of Iron Man with this pick as well. So I think its a strategic move that matches my interests.

For my second pick, I'm spending $2 on Rocket Raccoon.

Surprised? Here's why this is a bargain.

He's very, very smart. Incredibly strategic and craft. He's a weapons genius. AND he gives me access to space. To field a decent Avengers team, there has to be some connection to space. (Plus . . . Rocket is voiced by Bradley Cooper, who played the excellent Will Tippin on Alias alongside Jennifer Garner. So--yeah.)

Pick #3--I'm grabbing Falcon for an insulting $1 price. Sam Wilson is a trained soldier, an expert at exosuit flight, is unequivocally trusted by Steve Rogers the most honest man on Earth, AND he inherits the mantle of Captain America when Steve "retires" into the past. And you're telling me that he is only worth a measly buck?! Thank you very much!

Pick #4--War Machine. Another insult at only $1.

Can you see how I'm maximizing value here? Spiderman has all of the technical gadgetry of Stark Enterprises with his Iron Spider suit. And War Machine is essentially a less headstrong Tony Stark as well. He isn't genius-level like Tony is, but please don't forget how smart Peter Parker is--or how smart Rocket is for that matter.

Pick #5--and I've barely spent half of my $15 to this point so I'm doing just great . . . so let's splurge a bit and grab Hawkeye for $4. All the Renner-heads know what I'm up to here. And anyone who has ever heard of the comics artist Matt Fraction is also nodding their head like that Jack Nicholson gif. But beyond those things, Hawkeye is an incredibly talented archer who is also incredibly brave. He faces unimaginable foes of all types armed with no superpowers at all, precious little in the way of body protection, and keeps coming back. Plus I identify that he's a family man who has a solid relationship with his wife and kids. He's seen lots of war and conflict, so he's seasoned. He and War Machine have the gravitas needed to keep everyone focused when things get tight and they can command respect to shut Rocket up as needed.* 


Originally I had planned to just leave it there with these excellent five choices. But why leave $3 on the table? There are good $3 choices available, but I wasn't sure which way to jump between my immediate first two options--Loki or Wasp.

Loki is good because he brings disruptive, unpredictable qualities to the team similar to Rocket. But both of them can be real softies if the right buttons are pushed. Loki has good thief skills and he can definitely throw a good party when we are done with successful missions. And he also strengthens that crucial Space connection.

Wasp, on the other hand, brings some necessary feminity to the team (though young Peter helps with that . . . as would Loki.) Wasp has the power to get small. (And every Steve Martin fan wants that.) Her Pym Tech technology can give the team incredible abilities to work in and through all environments and problems. Plus . . . I really like Evangeline Lilly who was a six-year lead on LOST--one of my other favorite TV shows. She might be able to bring in some help from Ant-Man from time to time. 

So, either Loki or Wasp would be a wonderful addition to the team. Which of those two should I spend my last $3 on?

*And now that I'm taking a look at my team, I'm realizing that they are all quite sarcastic as well--a quality that I enjoy immensely.

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