Wednesday, July 23, 2014

What DOES Felix know?

credit: lberghol, from deviantart



I've been listening to the audiobook recording of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince again the last few weeks. And today I hit upon something I'd never thought of before . . . the role of the Felix Felicis potion in the Ron + Hermione and the Ginny + Harry relationships.

Now . . . I know what Rowling said about Ron and Hermione earlier this year. And I can't really disagree with the spirit (and much of the substance) of what she observed. Ron and Hermione definitely look at the world in very different ways and I can absolutely believe that they might have to struggle though some difficult moments in their married life together. But I do not subscribe to the suggestion that Hermione might have been better off with Harry rather than Ron. I fully support Harry and Ginny (no matter moments of disagreement on that relationship that I have discussed in the past).

So, what is my issue this time?

Well, as I was listening to the audio, it struck me how influential Harry (under the guidance of the Liquid Luck potion) was in providing one of the final links that helped cement the start of both relationships.

Let's break it down, shall we?

Harry has decided he needs to use the potion to persuade Prof. Slughorn to give up his unaltered memory of the Horcrux conversation he had with Tom Riddle back in Riddle's sixth year. So, up in his dorm room, alongside Ron and Hermione, Harry takes a swig of the Felix felicis and then decides to go visit Hagrid's hut (much to R & H's surprise). Harry dons his invisibility cloak, heads down the stairs, and crosses the Gryffindor common room unseen.

Because he is unseen--which was part of Felix's influence (as Harry had made no suggestion prior to taking the potion that he wished to be sneaking about and because going to Hagrid's required him to sneak out of the castle after hours), the crucial dominos begin to fall.

"What were you doing up there with her?" shrieked Lavender Brown, staring right through Harry at Ron and Hermione emerging together from the boys' dormitories. Harry heard Ron spluttering behind him as he darted across the room away from them. [Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Arthur A. Levine Books/Scholastic 1st American edition, p. 478]

Lavender sees right through Harry and jumps to the wrong conclusion about what Ron and Hermione were doing (alone?) in the boys dorms. And due to this assist from Felix . . . it is the final straw in the faltering relationship of Ron Weasley and Lavender Brown. The two kids get into an argument over Lavender's assumption and Ron finally finds a way to worm out of the relationship that he had wanted to end for weeks.

Ron had been struggling to find a way to stand up to Lavender's single-minded focus on their relationship, but his fundamental insecurity was making that very hard for him to accomplish. He couldn't find a way to break it off and might have limped along for the remainder of the school year in an unhappy pairing. And who knows? It might even have continued through the summer? He couldn't find a way to break up with Lavender during the Christmas holidays either, even though there were signs that he was having some second thoughts. (The "My Sweetheart" bracelet that I don't believe he ever wore and the beginnings of the Won Won nickname began at this point in the school year.)

Hermione, for her part, was not going to actively do anything to drive the final wedge between Ron and Lavender. She has too much pride and inner self-confidence to intervene. In her head* she surely was calculating how long it would take Ron to chuck it with Lavender and come to his senses. So Felix helped them confirm their relationship before things went completely nuts in Year Seven.

Now . . . what about the other couple that Felix affected as Harry departed Gryffindor Tower? It was none other than his own future wife, Ginny Weasley. A girl that Harry had known for six years and all throughout this year at school had been nursing a growing affection for. But he was always talking himself out of it because of his concern that Ron would disapprove (as Ron clearly had done with every other boyfriend that Ginny had dated). And so, Regular Harry was similarly stymied by indecision and hesitancy.

But Felixed Harry knew what to do. Just as Felix felicis told Harry to mysteriously visit Hagrid that evening rather than directly stroll down to Prof. Slughorn's office, the potion made him take a particular path out of the portrait hole just as Dean and Ginny entered.

Getting through the portrait hole was simple; as he approached it, Ginny and Dean came through it, and Harry was able to slip between them. As he did so, he brushed accidentally against Ginny. "Don't push me, please, Dean," she said, sounding annoyed. "You're always doing that. I can get through perfectly well on my own . . ." The portrait swung closed behind Harry, but not before he had heard Dean make an angry retort. . . . [Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Arthur A. Levine Books/Scholastic 1st American edition, p. 478]

He didn't skirt around them (as I surely would have done if I was under the Invisibility cloak), but Felix felicis nudged Harry directly between them, ensuring that Ginny would mistake his slight touch as another push by Dean.

Why was Dean pushing her? And why had he done this many times before, according to Ginny? This strikes me as odd, since Ginny has long been described as an accomplished Quidditch player, which must mean that she has solid body control. And Rowling would surely have made it clear if Ginny was something of a spaz--which she always did when it came to Tonks' clumsiness.

So what was Dean up to? Maybe it was nothing?

I know that when I get into a argument with Lynda or the kids, I often over-exaggerate the situation to hammer home my point, no matter how ill-conceived it might be. So clearly Ginny was just taking this annoyance that she was already feeling toward Dean and magnifying it. And we know from previous books that Ginny had always harbored a crush on Harry. So, it is not as if Felix felicis was required to ensure their relationship began.

But I still find it curious that the potion went out of its way to move both relationships along when the principle actors in our story could not find a way to get it going themselves.

And if . . . IF they had NOT found a way to come together in the end, then most of these guys wouldn't have "existed."

* How interesting would it be to hear the Harry Potter story as narrated by Hermione? (Though I imagine there are several fan fictions doing that already?)

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Party Month/Work Week

Credit: me; Our office good-luck totem gets some Major League-related snark during the stress of Texas review week.

Traditionally, the end of June through most of July is known as Party Month around the Martin house. We begin with Grace's birthday, slide through Lynda's birthday, our anniversary, and into Sarah's birthday. It's a busy time filled with plans, gifts, and all that stuff there.

This year's version was made more intriguing by the additional fun of a big family visit by the Thompsons in Georgia (both parents and brother-in-laws family). And when we have family visits, we go all out and do stuff that we never both to do for ourselves when we are alone.

So we went to Zoombezi Bay. We went to a Clippers baseball game. We went to COSI. We went swimming. We hardly ever stayed still except at night. And we ran our visitors ragged probably, driving them here and there and everywhich way to show of the city and find exciting ways to have a good time. (There is probably a reason why vacations only come around once a year, as they can certainly tire you out.) But everyone said that had a good time and politeness abounded--as it always must when the house gets more crowded with people. But it is good for us to stretch ourselves and shake off the routine and appreciate the many things we have and enjoy--even if we don't really stop to enjoy them as much as we might.

Oh, and did I mention that the run up to Party Month was also "enhanced" by a complete overhaul/remodel of our kitchen? Which we desperately wanted to get done before all the company arrived . . . and which is mostly did. (There are still some wall painting items that are needed to be finished and some other minor bits like that . . . but at least all the cabinets were hung and the floor was replaced and the backsplash and molding was fit and the water was turned on.)

So . . . after all of THAT the normal Party Month festivities got into gear. Grace's 11th birthday was centered around the movie How to Train Your Dragon 2, which we all enjoyed and agreed to be a much better movie-centering party than the LAST time (when Sarah wanted to see the terrible Avatar: The Last Airbender movie). Sadly, Grace did not get a letter to Hogwarts. But there is still hope that Hannah will get one in five more years.

Lynda and I combined the celebration of her birthday and our 19th anniversary into one nice date. And we really had a good time relaxing together and reminding ourselves of our abundant blessings.

Up next is Sarah's birthday . . . which is still a few weeks away. But interposed within the fun of Party Month, I've faced my own Work Week of Hell as my textbook project rubber hits the road of Texas review and evaluation. (In fact, I'm writing this post at the office at 11:30 pm while I want to button up the last few changes to my response document that goes back to the Texas Education Association review panel.)

This project has had its fits and starts, to be sure but if we can get past this major approval hurdle tonight and tomorrow, then a huge roadblock is removed and the possibility of success becomes that much more possible. I surely hope so, as the team has put up with a lot to get the program this far.

I hope it'll all be okay.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

The Winner of #OfficialHat2014


Unveiling this Summer’s Official Hat. Thanks to everyone who participated in the voting. Here’s hoping you like the choice, because it is the only hat you’ll see me in the rest of THIS summer.

Monday, June 09, 2014

#OfficialHat2014 Update #2

I really want you to vote. PLEASE!!!




This year's original video showing all of the acceptable candidates for the Official Hat of Summer 2014 can be seen here.

To cast a vote, comment on this post, send me an email, comment on my Twitter, shout at me while walking down the street, talk to me on Facebook, pull me aside during church, spell out your choice with condiments while eating a burrito, or interrupt me during a meet at work. Just make your  voice heard.

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

#OfficialHat2014 Update

Here is an update on the Official Hat of Summer 2014.

The voting will remain open until the Summer Solstice, so you still have several weeks to cast your vote as many times as you are so inclined.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, here is this year's candidates video. And if you need further explanation, this Playlist might shed some light on the subject.

Here are the standings as of right now:

Reds hat--4 votes
South Georgia Seniors hat--3 votes
OSU visor--1 vote
OSU hat--1 vote
Braves hat--1 vote
Apple hat--zero votes

Make your voice heard. Make my head shaded! Vote.

Monday, May 12, 2014

2014 Official Hat of Summer Voting Now Open





It's your favorite time of year! The voting for the Official Hat of Summer is now open to you.

Your choices--

Ohio State baseball hat

Ohio State visor

Cincinnati Reds hat

South Georgia Seniors hat

Atlanta Braves 1974 hat

Apple hat



The voting is open until the Summer Solstice. Happy voting!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

. . . I can't tell ya, who to sock it to.

Photo location: www.123rf.com
I have many things, little quirks that might seem charming, I guess . . . but probably drive you nuts if you have to put up with them all the time. I'm sure if she has the time and the inclination, Lynda can fill you in on many of them and provide lots of insight into how these traits drive her crazy.

Just now I was confronted with another one. Getting an apple from the refrigerator, I fought off the impulse to dump all of the red and green apples out of their mesh bags as they sat within the plastic drawer. Why? What does it harm anything to have the apples remain in their mesh bags? But, I say internally, Why should they say in the bags while simultaneously sitting in a plastic drawer of a refrigerator?

Does the fact that the drawer is clear plastic have something to do with it? Is there a visual conflict that I see the bags through the plastic drawer and that bothers me more than if the drawer were opaque? Or is it far more likely that somewhere in my life, I saw a refrigerator in a photograph or an advertisement or on a television show and liked the way that one looked. And so I've been spending part of my life trying to recapture that Platonic idea of REFRIGERATOR to my own twisted satisfaction?

Really it simply doesn't matter.

What does matter is that I am now convinced that I hear water dripping behind me and when I turn around and wait very patiently, I see and hear nothing?

See . . . I just did it again . . .

and NOTHING!

(Is the basement gaslighting me? Or is my computer chair trying to drive me insane?)

WHAT the HELL is that NOISE?!!!

***

I didn't take the apples out of the bags. I wanted to (and sometimes in the past, I have.) But I didn't do it this time. I talked myself out of it because I thought it might offend someone else in the family. How and for what reason, I can't begin to articulate to you right now. But that is why I stopped.

Figure the rest out for yourself, because I clearly have no good idea why I do most things.

***

As I was preparing to come downstairs to write this, I had a half-mug of microwaved coffee and a plate of apple slices. But then I was confronted with the basement stairs.

What to do?

Proceeding down the stairs with the plate of food in one hand and the coffee mug in the other was clearly not going to be possible. Most downward staircases give me a slight psychological pause these days anyway, and negotiating one with both hands full was not going to be a good choice.

So, I tried shifting the plate of apples from my left hand and combined that with my coffee mug. But it wasn't working very well and besides, the handrail is on the right side. Okay then. put the plate down on the table, transfer the mug to the left hand. Only hold the mug with a strong index finger curled in the handle.Balance the plate on the stacked curls of the middle, ring, and pinkie fingers. Place the thumb on the plate rim as counterbalance. Does it work? Pause, shift?

Nope. The strength of the index finger isn't holding the mug stiffly enough and it might begin to lean. And if that happens, then your hand muscles will begin to compensate and what might that do to the plate full of apple slices? What if this begins when you're halfway down the stairs? Even holding onto the hand railing, you just aren't sure what your body might try to do to hold it all together.

So . . . you sigh. You admit defeat.

Put the plate of apples down.
Go down the stairs and set the coffee mug on the desk.
Come back upstairs.
Grab the plate.
Return down the stairs.
Sit, type, eat, accept.

Try to forget so that next time, you can just go downstairs like any old body.

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Shouting into the Void

Man, today was a . . . DAY.

But, looking back on it, I'm proud of how I eventually found ways to work my way through the problems and (hopefully) set a course that will navigate me through the next few days of issues and come out happily on the other side with satisfaction.

Soon, today will just be another grey area in the spotted mosaic of this project. From 50,000 feet, who will be able to identify one crisis from another? Who will care to remember WHAT was causing WHOM to be upset about WHY? Just finish and move on.

I'm like a cubicle shark . . .  always moving . . .

But it's still frustrating because all of that crisis work today prevented me from doing OTHER work. And I just don't have the mental energy to do more work tonight.

But I think fate has provided a (sort of) answer. Sarah is leaving for her school trip to WDC tomorrow and I will need to drop her and her luggage off at the school by 6:15. So why not justify the lack of work tonight (when I'm mentally fed up) by pushing it off until tomorrow morning when I can get into the office even earlier than usual and then only be physically exhausted?

Yes.

This is how we do it.

***

Honestly, I want to be talking about THIS . . .

Click for past playlist videos
. . . but I can't because the friggin' cord that connects my video camera to my laptop's USB port is no where to be found and I can't find the right sort of replacement on the internet and it is delaying me from getting ideas executed and I just don't want to wait and I'm trying to be creating and it is making me unhappy and grrrr.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

LOST Rewatch: The Whole Truth

Credit: tle1lost.wordpress.com
It's been a while, hasn't it my friends? How have you been over the last few months?

As I mentioned a little while ago on the blog, the LOST Rewatch experience ground to a halt unexpectedly one Friday night. I was watching "Two for the Road"--a critical season 2 episode that I haven't yet summarized here yet. And I was watching it with Grace. And some unexpected things happened--which I won't describe here as that is to come when the episode recap is written.

But Grace didn't react well to these events. And so Lynda strongly suggested that we stop. And so we did. I didn't want Grace having nightmares. But I didn't want to rewatch these episodes by myself either. So, things hit PAUSE for an undetermined amount of time. And . . . well, just in the last few weeks, Grace said that she wanted to start up the Rewatch again. I was quite happy with this idea, but my blog was busy with some other stuff that some television watchers might have been interested in.

So, I had to wait until Dean was finished with his guest blogging duties. And Grace and Sarah and I committed to a once-a-week, Friday night schedule of episode watching. And, here we are.

Now . . . as last left things, the Lostaways were mixed up with all sorts of turmoil because of the arrival of Henry Gale. Our mystery balloonist was being held captive in the Hatch's armory by Jack, John, Sayid, Eko, Kate, and Sawyer. The inner cadre hadn't made it widely known to the rest of their "friends" that this Man from Minnesota was being interrogated, detained, and under suspicion by their Leaders. In the most recent recap episode, however, the show has shifted to other topics--specifically Claire's concern over Aaron's fever.

credit: www.images.tvrage.com

But in "The Whole Truth" we shift to Sun and Jin with another glimpse into their tumultuous marriage pre-Flight 815. And on the Island Sun is trying to determine whether to tell Jin that she fears she is pregnant . . . which is odd, since the Flashback tells us that Jin was sterile.

(Not the the Korean fertility doctor admits to Jin publicly that he is the one with the problem. Because Jin works for Mr. Paik and the doctor is seriously worried about getting his practice destroyed by the vengeful industrialist. Oddly, however, it doesn't seem to be a problem to publicly state that Mr. Paik's daughter is infertile, even if that is not true. I guess Mr. Paik won't be emasculated by the fact that he has an infertile daughter? Which won't drive him into some sort of doctor-destroying rage? Patriarchy . . . amirite?)

ANYWAY . . .strike four or strike five for Sun and Jin's marriage, I guess.

Sun is already getting involved with Jae, the smooth-talking (and smooth-headed) son of a hotel magnate. He is teaching her English and hoping to teach her some other things as well. But for now, they are developing a deep friendship. Maybe they don't know the English word for infidelity yet?

ANDBUTSO . . . if these two kids can't have a baby, then why is Island Sun fighting morning sickness and keeping her suspected condition from her husband? Might the baby actually belong to Jae after all?

In the end, the answer to that is no . . . because, as we viewers know, the Island has some magical healing properties. It has already reanimated Locke's legs and eliminated Rose's cancer. So, it should be no problem at all to bring Jin's moribund sperm back to life, or widen his vans deferens or whatever. The Widmore-brand pregnancy test that Kate acquired from Sawyer's stash indicates that Sun is definitely pregnant. Hurray! (Because Claire and Aaron need to get taken down a peg or two.)

What else is happening?

Well, Locke has decided to get Ana Lucia involved in the Henry Gale party. He asks her to use her police interrogation skills to see if the prisoner's balloon story is full of hot air. So, she arrives and gets the same story about Gale and his wife crashing on the island and he even helpfully provides a map to the location of where his balloon is (and where he buried his wife). Sayid and Ana and Charlie follow the map to Henry's indicated spot and begin to search. What will they find, I wonder?

The episode ends with one of my favorite moments . . . Henry is having a morning bowl of Dharma Flakes with Jack and Locke. When Henry learns that Sayid and Ana have used his map to go searching, Henry muses that it sure is a good thing he's not a bad guy. Because if he was, then sending some people off to a mysterious location might be the best place to set an ambush, right?

Bemused smile, munching of cereal. Hey, can you pass the milk?

Sunday, April 06, 2014

The Final Part (!!) of Dean's Ridiculously Long GoT Overview

credit: tshirtonomy.com
BEYOND THE WALL
Mance Rayder, King-Beyond-the-Wall
Status: Alive! Beyond the Wall
Why he matters: He is a former member of the Night’s Watch who has united the Wildlings and is leading them on an attack on the Wall.

Craster, Wildling, ally of the Night’s Watch
Status: Dead! Killed by Karl
Why he matters: He was an ally of the Night’s Watch. After the attack by the White Walkers at the Fist of First Men the Night’s Watch flee to his Keep. His overall awful demeanor leads to the Mutiny at Craster’s Keep and the death of Jeor Mormont.

Gilly, Wildling
Status: Alive! At Castle Black
Why she matters: She’s definitely going to get Sam to break his vows. Sam the Coward manages to be brave for her and kills a White Walker and saves her from rape at Craster’s keep.

Gilly’s Son, Wildling
Status: Alive! At Castle Black
Why he matters: If Sam didn’t take her from Craster’s he would have been sacrificed to the White Walkers.

Orell, Wildling, warg
Status: Dead, killed by Jon Snow/Alive, an eagle
Why he matters: He exposes the fact that Jon Snow had not truly turned against the Night’s Watch. He’s a warg able to put his consciousness into animals. Now that his body is dead, he is stuck as an eagle.

Ygritte, wildling
Status: Alive! South of the Wall
Why she matters: She leads Jon Snow into an ambush after he fails to execute her. She gets Jon to fully break his vows. She shoots Jon when he flees back to the Wall. Everything she does is trouble for Jon.

Lord of Bones, Rattleshirt
Status: Alive. Beyond the Wall
Why he matters: His raiding party captured Jon Snow and Qhorin Halfhand. He has an awesome skull mask.

Tormund Giantsbane, Wildling
Status: Alive! South of the Wall
Why he matters: He is leading the attack on Castle Black.

Stiv, Wildling
Status: Dead. Killed by Theon Greyjoy near Winterfell
Why he matters: He fled south with Osha to escape the White Walkers and attempt to kidnap Bran.

Wallen, Wildling
Status: Dead. Killed by Robb Stark near Winterfell
Why he matters: He fled South with Osha to escape the White Walkers and attempt to kidnap Bran.

White Walkers
Status: Walking
Why they matter: Normal weapons don’t hurt them. Bring some fire and dragonglass.

Wights
Status: Undead
Why they matter: The dead are rising again. Better burn them.

credit: randomization.com
INDEPENDENT ACTORS AND PEOPLE I MISSED WHO ARE ACTUALLY NOT INDEPENDENT AT ALL

Sandor Clegane, the Hound
Status: Alive! In the Riverlands with Arya Stark
Why he matters: He’s protecting our beloved Arya as the newest odd couple on Game of Thrones (now that the Brienne and Jaime traveling roadshow is done). He killed Micah. He killed Berric Dondarrion but he got better. He tried to take Sansa from King’s Landing but she (probably wisely) refused.

Petyr Baelish, Lord of Harrenhall
Status: Alive, on his way to the Eyrie to try to marry Lysa Arryn
Why he matters: His scheming led to the death of Eddard Stark and Ros. He brokers an alliance between the Tyrells and the Lannisters. He is a scheming bastard.

Mhaegen, mother of Barra
Status: Alive, in King’s Landing
Why she matters: She helps confirms Eddard Stark’s suspicions that Joffrey is not Robert’s heir.

Barra, bastard of Robert Baratheon
Status: Dead, killed by the Janos Slynt.
Why he matters: His hair is brown. All of Robert Baratheon’s bastards have brown hair. Joffrey is not his heir. Also Joffrey is a monster for ordering the deaths of babies. But we knew that already. Janos Slynt is a monster for killing babies.

Ros, prostitute
Status: Dead, murdered by Joffrey Baratheon
Why she matters: She was the star of numerous sexposition scenes for many of the notables around Westeros. She used that to her advantage to raise her rank in the world until she betrayed the trust of Petyr Baelish who gave her to Joffrey for target practice. Poor Ros.

Jaqen H’ghar, Faceless Man
Status: Dead! Now a new person.
Why he matters: As a reward for saving his life, he takes three lives for Arya Stark (although Arya manages to work a few more lives from him). He helps her escape from Harrenhall. He can change his face.

Varys, Master of Whisperers, the Spider
Status: Alive, in King’s Landing
Why he matters: He has a network of spies in Westeros and across the Narrow Sea. He often works at cross purposes with Petyr Baelish. He seems to be working to get Joffrey Lannister off the throne. Littlefinger wants to rise in the world, Varys cares about the kingdom (or so he claims, he is a spymaster after all, his motives may be more opaque).

Maester Pycelle, Maester of King’s Landing
Status: Alive
Why he matters: He’s not really independent. I should have put in under Lannisters. Even though he is a member of the Small Council he works closely with Cersei Lannister and is jailed by Tyrion for spying for her. He is released by Tywin Lannister and restored to his post.

Polliver, definitely should be under Lannisters
Status: Alive, last seen at Harrenhal
Why he matters: He kills Lommy Greenhands. He is a nasty piece of work who beats old women.

Locke, should be under House Stark, soldier for Roose Bolton
Status: Alive, last seen at Harrenhal
Why he matters: He chops off Jaime Lannister’s hand and throws Brienne in a bear pit.

Qyburn, former Maester
Status: Alive, in King’s Landing
Why he matters: He treats Jaime’s infected stump. He was kicked out of the Order of Maesters for his experiments. I’m sure that’s not going to ever come up again. You should forget about it.

Steelshanks, should be under House Stark, soldier for Roose Bolton
Status: Alive, at King’s Landing
Why he matters: He escorts Jaime Lannister back to King’s Landing.

I may have missed others, but honestly this is 24 pages long and I no longer care. This is the end. Thanks to Game of Thrones Wiki for making this possible.

[ed. note: You're a champion Dean. Thanks for all of the free content this week and congratulations on getting it done in time for tonight's HBO premiere of Season 4 of Game of Thrones. If this series of posts won't get you ready for it, nothing will. And I've had fun looking up House sigils all week--especially today when I had to find some "nonstandard" ones to fit these categories. I recommend you enjoy some of them as well by Googling "Game of Thrones sigils".]

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Part 7 of Dean's Ridiculously Long GoT Overview

[Ed. note: No. Not everyone listed below is strictly a Targaryen. I get it. You may send your disappointed hate emails to shut@up.com. But all of these people are in the orbit of Daenarys, who is a Targaryen and, as I've said before, consistency of theme is important!]


credit: gameofthrones.wikia.com
ACROSS THE SEA

Daenarys Targaryen, last surviving child of Aerys Targaryen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons
Status, Alive! Ruling Yunkai
Why she matters: She is eventually going to join the War of increasingly fewer kings. But first she must go through many trials to learn how to be a wise and just ruler. She has awesome dragons.

Drogon, dragon
Status: Alive, in Yunkai
Why he matters: He is a black dragon in a world with no other dragons.

Rhaegal, dragon
Status: Alive, in Yunkai
Why he matters: He is a green dragon in a world with no other dragons.

Viserion, dragon
Status: Alive, in Yunkai
Why he matters: He is a white dragon in a world with no other dragons.

Viserys Targaryen, son of Aerys Targaryen
Status: Dead! Given a “crown of gold” by Khal Drogo
Why he matters: He paid a huge army of Dothraki to invade Westeros. Unfortunately for him, he angered what is essentially a Mongol horde, and they took exception to it. (Mongols are the exception.) [Ed. note: I take it all back Dean. You are doing these posts right.]

Jorah Mormont, knight
Status: Alive! in Yunkai with Daenerys Targaryen
Why he matters: Originally a spy for Varys, he fell in love with Daenerys Targaryen and now serves as one of her protectors and also creeps on her a lot. Stop being creepy Jorah. She doesn’t love you and never will.

Barristan Selmy, former knight of the Kingsguard
Status: Alive! In Yunkai with Daenerys Targaryen
Why he matters: Once a member of the Kingsguard who served Aerys Targaryen, Robert Baratheon, and Joffrey Baratheon he was fired by Joffrey for being old even though knights of the Kingsguard serve for life. Now he has sworn loyalty to Daenerys.

Drogo, Khal, husband of Daenerys Targaryen
Status: Dead, Miri Maz Duur cured an infected wound but left him comatose. Daenerys burnt him on a pier.
Why he matters: His marriage to Daenerys Targaryen led her to become Khaleesi of a group of Dothraki. He killed Viserys Targaryen, clearing the way for a much better Targaryen to rule.

Rhaego, son of Daenerys Targaryen and Khal Drogo
Status: Dead, born stillborn and horribly deformed.
Why he matters: Rhaego’s life was the price Daenerys paid for Khal Drogo’s life. Is it was not a good trade.

Doreah, handmaiden and bedslave to Daenerys Targaryen
Status: Dead, locked in a vault with Xaro Xhoan Daxos
Why she matters: Sexposition! Also she betrays Daenerys to Xaro Xhoan Daxos leading to the death of much of her khalasar.

Xaro Xhoan Daxos, member of the Thirteen of Qarth
Status: Dead, locked in an empty vault with Doreah
Why he matters: He attempted to wed Daenerys to obtain her dragons. When that fails he and Pyat Pree stage a coup and steal the dragons. This ends poorly for both of them.

Mirri Maz Duur, sorceress
Status: Dead, burned on Khal Drogo’s funeral pyre
Why she matters: Her magic killed Rhaego and left Khal Drogo comatose in revenge for the Dothraki sacking her city.

Irri, handmaiden to Daenerys Targaryen
Status: Dead, killed by Xaro Xhoan Daxos
Why she matters: She translates for Daenerys before Daenerys learns the Dothraki tongue. She loved Rakharo.

Pyat Pree, Warlock, member of the Thirteen
Status: Dead, burnt by dragons
Why he matters: He steals Daenerys’s dragons because they make his magic stronger. He confirms that magic did not work until the dragons were reborn.

Quaithe, shadowbinder
Status: Alive, somewhere
Why she matters: She appears to want to help Daenerys keep her dragons for some reason. She has a cool mask.

The Silk King, seller of silk
Status: Dead, assassinated by Pyat Pree
Why he matters: He refused to let Daenerys into Qarth.  He does business with the Lannisters.

The Copper King, seller of copper
Status: Dead, assassinated by Pyat Pree
Why he matters: He refused to let Daenerys into Qarth. He offers her a ship for sex, but Daenerys is not for sale.

The Spice King, seller of spices
Status: Dead, assassinated by Pyat Pree
Why he matters: He refused to let Daenerys into Qarth. He refuses to give Daenerys ships because he believes she will fail.

Rakharo, Dothraki bloodrider
Status: Dead, killed by another Dothraki warrior in the Red Waste
Why he matters: He was sent off to find a safe passage out of the Red Waste. He did not.

Mero, Braavos sellsword, “The Titan’s Bastard”
Status: Dead! Killed by Daario Naharis
Why he matters: He was a captain of the Second Sons, protecting Yunkai. He refuses to break their contract with the city. His lieutenant Daario cuts his head off and agrees to break the contract.

Prendahi na Ghezn, Ghiscari sellsword
Status: Dead! Killed by Daario Naharis
Why he matters: He was a captain of the Second Sons, protecting Yunkai. He refuses to break their contract with the city. He proposes assassinatingDaenarys. His lieutenant Daario cuts his head off and agrees to break the contract.

Daario Naharis, Tyroshi sellsword
Status: Alive, in Yunkai
Why he matters: He kills Mero and Prendahi na Ghezn and pledges the Second Sons to Daenerys. Also confusingly he was recast between seasons so he’ll look completely different which isn’t confusing at all when there are so many characters to keep track of.

Kraznys mo Nakloz, slaver
Status: Dead! Burnt by dragons
Why he matters: Now Daenerys has an army of freed slaves who are the fiercest warriors in the land. Also, because she betrayed Kraznys no one will do business with her any more, which is fine because Daenerys has dragons and an army. She’ll burn the crap out of you. Oh, and Daenerys can speak Valyrian. She is good with languages.

Qotho, bloodrider to Khal Drogo
Status: Dead! Killed by Jorah Mormont
Why he matters: He fights Daenerys to stop Mirri Maz Duur from practicing her blood magic causing Daenerys to go into premature labor and leading to a good stabbing by Jorah.

Missandei, translator, former slave
Status: Alive, translating for Daenerys in Yunkai
Why she matters: She translates Kraznys for Daenerys in Astapor. She helps Daenerys with the Unsullied officers.

Mago, Dothraki
Status: Dead, killed by Khal Drogo
Why he matters: The wound Drogo takes in the fight with Mago becomes infected leading to his death.

Razdal mo Eraz, Wise Master of Yunkai
Status: Alive, in Yunkai. I wouldn’t place bets on him surviving much longer.
Why he matters: He negotiates with Daenarys, offering her gold and ships to leave. Daenarys’s counter-offer is for them to free their slaves, so it went poorly. He should have accepted the counter-offer.

Cohollo, bloodrider to Khal Drogo
Status: presumably alive in the Dothraki Sea somewhere
Why he matters: He was a close ally and of Khal Drogo

Haggo, bloodrider to Khal Drogo
Status: presumably Alive in the Dothraki Sea somewhere
Why he matters: He was a close ally and confidant to Khal Drogo

Jhiqui, handmaiden to Daenerys Targaryen
Status: presumably dead in the Red Wastes
Why she matters: She says “It is known.” which is about as fun to repeat as “You know nothing Jon Snow.”

Aggo, bloodrider to Daenarys
Status: Alive, in Yunkai
Why he matters: He is a bloodrider loyal to Daenarys. He was sent out in the Red Waste to find a safe passage.

Kovarro, Dothraki bloodrider
Status: Alive! With Daenerys in Yunkai
Why he matters: He is one of Daenerys’s bloodriders and remained loyal to her when the rest of the khalasar abandoned her.

Malakho, Dothraki bloodrider
Status: Alive! With Daenerys in Yunkai
Why he matters: : He is one of Daenerys’s bloodriders and remained loyal to her when the rest of the khalasar abandoned her.

Pono, Ko and later Khal
Status: Alive, in the Dothraki Sea
Why he matters: He was the first to abandon Daenerys and declare himself a Khal when Drogo falls ill. He may have beheaded Rakharo.

Illyrio Mopatis, Magister of Pentos
Status: Alive! In Pentos
Why he matters: He gives Daenerys the dragon eggs and helps sell Daenerys to Khal Drogo for Viserys’s army of Dothraki.

Grey Worm, Unsullied
Status: Alive, in Yunkai
Why he matters: He is the leader of the Unsullied, which means he is likely one of the fiercest warriors around. I wouldn’t mess with him.

Friday, April 04, 2014

A far more concise GoT overview

This video manages (in less than 2 minutes!) to do what poor Dean has been struggling to do for weeks now.

Take note Dean!
Perhaps . . . you know nothing?




I suppose, however, that this is meaningful ONLY if you have read all of Dean's laborious work to this point?

Thursday, April 03, 2014

Part 6 of Dean's Ridiculously Long GoT Overview

Have you been following along as Dean slogs through every character of Game of Thrones that has appeared on the HBO series?
Did you know that Season 4 begins this Sunday?
Will Dean make it in time? And will he keep his sanity? I doubt it . . . on both questions. Click back through the last few days of posts to catch up on parts 1 through 5.

[A note on the Night's Watch sigil image below. I don't think the Night's Watch actually has an official sigil, as they renounce all such ties south of the Wall when they say the words. But some sort of thematic consistency is needed. I liked this piece of art that captures the style well and hits the right iconic notes. I mean, I could have chosen this instead, alright?]

credit: m5.paperblog.com
THE NIGHT’S WATCH

Jeor Mormont, Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch
Status: Dead, killed by Rast at Craster’s Keep
Why he matters: He headed up the Night’s Watch. He groomed Jon Snow as his eventual replacement. He is hard to kill.

Jon Snow, bastard son of Eddard Stark
Status: Alive! At Castle Black
Why he matters: He is the only member of the Night’s Watch who knows of the eminent wildling attack. Although, according to Ygritte, he knows nothing. R+L=J

Maester Aemon, Maester of Castle Black
Status: Alive! At Castle Black
Why he matters: He had the opportunity to become king but refused. He convinces Jon Snow to keep his vows when Eddard Stark is imprisoned.

Benjen Stark, First Ranger
Status: Unknown, somewhere north of the Wall
Why he matters: He is Jon Snow’s uncle. It was his influence that led Jon Snow to join the Night’s Watch.

Yoren, wandering crow
Status: Dead, killed by Amory Lorch
Why he matters: He removed Arya Stark from King’s Landing preventing her from being taken hostage by the Lannisters

Samwell Tarly, steward to Maester Aemon
Status: Alive! At Castle Black
Why he matters: He saved Gilly from the mutiny at Craster’s Keep. He knows how to kill White Walkers (with Dragonglasss). Sam is awesome.

Alliser Thorne, Master-at-Arms at Castle Black
Status: Alive, on his way to Castle Black
Why he matters: Alliser tries to get the new recruits to hate Jon Snow. Jeor Mormont sends him to King’s Landing to warn them of the White Walkers. He is ignored.

Qhorin Halfhand, Ranger
Status: Dead, killed by Jon Snow
Why he matters: He sacrifices himself to Jon Snow so that Jon will be trusted by the Wildlings and can eventually warn the Night’s Watch of the massive army of Wildlings marching to the Wall.

Janos Slynt, recruit of the Night’s Watch, former commander of the King’s Landing City Watch
Status: Alive, on his way to King’s Landing
Why he matters: He carried out Joffrey’s orders to massacre Robert Bartheon’s bastards. Tyrion sent him to the Night’s Watch. Bronn becomes Commander of the Watch in his stead.

Lommy Greenhands, recruit
Status: Dead, killed by Polliver
Why he matters: Arya claims that Lommy is actually Gendry, sparing Gendry from the fate of the other Baratheon bastards.

Rast, ranger, rapist
Status: Unknown
Why he matters: He starts the mutiny by stabbing and killing Jeor Mormont. Is a huge jerk.

Gren, Ranger
Status: Unknown, last seen at the Mutiny at Craster’s Keep
Why he matters: Jon Snow breaks his nose. Appears to side against the mutineers at the Mutiny at Craster’s Keep by attacking Karl.

Matthar, Ranger
Status: Unknown
Why he matters: The Night’s Watch needs all the Rangers it can get.

Balian, Ranger
Status: Unknown
Why he matters: The Night’s Watch needs all the Rangers it can get.

Jafer Flowers, Ranger, wight, traveling hand
Status: Dead, killed beyond the wall and then at Castle Black
Why he matters: He was accompanying Benjen Stark who was not among the dead. He comes back to life after being killed. +Flowers’s hand was brought to King’s Landing to convince them about the return of the White Walkers.

Othor, Ranger, wight
Status: Dead, killed beyond the Wall and then rekilled by Jon Snow
Why he matters: He was accompanying Benjen Stark who was not among the dead. He comes back to life after being killed. The White Walkers are back.

Will, Ranger, deserter
Status: Dead, beheaded by Eddard Stark for desertion
Why he matters: His death show that Eddard Stark lives by an uncompromising code. He is the first person to bring back news of the White Walkers, but no one believes him.

Gared, Ranger
Status: Dead, killed by a White Walker
Why he matters: Along with Waymar Royce he was the first death on Game of Thrones.  There are zombie creatures beyond the Wall. That seems important too.

Waymar Royce, Ranger
Status: Dead, killed by a White Walker
Why he matters: Along with Gared he was the first death on Game of Thrones. Oh hey, and there are zombies. Creepy.

Jaremy Rykker, acting First Ranger
Status: Alive, at Castle Black
Why he matters: He led the new recruits to take their vows in the Godswood. He brings the Wights back to Castle Black.

Bowen Marsh, First Steward
Status: Alive, at Castle Black
Why he matters: He helps bring the bodies of Othor and Jafer Flowers back to Castle Black. Oh no, wights!

Pypar “Pyp”, Steward
Status: Alive! At Castle Black
Why he matters: He is one of the few Night’s Watch members who are definitively alive. He goes along with Jon Snow’s plans.

Hobb, Steward and Cook
Status: Alive! At Castle Black
Why he matters: He cooks the food. Every castle needs a cook.

Karl, Steward
Status: Unknown, last seen at Craster’s Keep
Why he matters: He insults Craster and helps kick off the Mutiny at Craster’s Keep. He kills Craster.

Eddison “Dolorous Edd” Tollett, Steward
Status: Unknown, last seen at Craster’s Keep
Why he matters: He is the Eeyore of the Night’s Watch.

Otthell Yarwyck, Chief Builder
Status: Unknown, last seen at Craster’s Keep
Why he matters: He’s in charge of maintaining the Wall and the castles. That seems important seeing as there are zombies and wildlings intent on attacking and killing everyone on the other side.

Halder, Builder
Status: Alive! Building things.
Why he matters: Builders maintain the Wall. There are hostile elements on the other side of the Wall. Builders are important.

Toad, Builder
Status: Alive! Building things.
Why he matters: Builders maintain the Wall. There are hostile elements on the other side of the Wall. Builders are important.

Harker, Ranger
Status: Dead, killed by wildlings
Why he matters: Jon Snow’s hesitance to kill Ygritte leads to the death of Qhorin’s scouting group.

Borba, Ranger
Status: Dead, killed by wildlings
Why he matters: Jon Snow’s hesitance to kill Ygritte leads to the death of Qhorin’s scouting group.

Stonesnake, Ranger
Status: Dead, killed by wildlings
Why he matters: Jon Snow’s hesitance to kill Ygritte leads to the death of Qhorin’s scouting group.

Bannen, ranger
Status: Dead, broke his foot
Why he matters: Dying of a broken foot sucks.

Dareon, steward
Status: Alive! At Eastwatch-by-the-Sea
Why he matters: According to Samwell he often sings at meal-time. That’s nice.

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Part 5 of Dean's Ridiculously Long GoT Overview

credit:gameofthronescharacters.net
THE TYRELLS AND THEIR VASSELS

Lady Olenna Tyrell, Grandmother to Margaery and Loras Tyrell
Status: Alive, causing trouble at King’s Landing
Why she matters: She knows what’s up and is awesome. Don’t mess with the Queen of Thorns.

Margaery Tyrell, Queen
Status: Alive, trying to become queen
Why she matters: She’s smart, cunning, and come hell or high water she’s going to be queen if she has to marry every last man in Westeros. She’d probably marry Stannis if it came to it (Seeing her face off with Melisandre would be awesome).

Loras Tyrell, brother of Margaery Tyrell, grandson of Olenna Tyrell
Status: Alive, but sad
Why he matters: He was Renly Baratheon’s lover (which his sister was surprisingly OK with). Sansa Stark is hilariously in love with him.

Tyrell servant, servant
Status: Alive, but berated
Why he matters: Olenna yells at him a lot. He seems alright though. Olenna is awesome when she’s mean.

credit: hbo.com
THE GREYJOYS AND THEIR VASSELS

Theon Greyjoy, hostage of Eddard Stark, son of Balon Greyjoy
Status: Alive, but wishes he was dead.
Why he matters: Theon made a choice. He chose wrong and now he’s alone in the North being tortured by Ramsay Bolton. Because of Theon, Winterfell is in ruins and everyone thinks Brann and Rickon Stark are dead. Theon is a tool.

Balon Greyjoy, head of House Greyjoy
Status: Alive, at the Iron Isles
Why he matters: He’s one of the five kings in the War of the Five Kings. He’s a jerk to his son. The Iron Islands seem like an awful place to live.

Yara Greyjoy, sister of Theon Greyjoy, daughter of Balon Greyjoy
Status: Alive, on her way to the Dreadfort
Why she matters: She’s smarter and cooler than her brother. She knows how to make good decisions, but does not know how to convince her dumb brother that he is dumb.

Dagmer, raider
Status: Dead, flayed alive by Ramsay Snow
Why he matters: He sold out Theon Greyjoy to Ramsay Snow’s troops. That was a mistake. Also he’s played by Finchy from the British The Office

Lorren, raider
Status: Dead, flayed alive by Ramsay Snow
Why he matters: Theon Greyjoy brutally beats him. Then he gets flayed by Ramsay Snow. He probably deserved both.

Drennan, raider
Status: Dead, throat slit by Osha
Why he matters: He clubs Farlen. He allowed himself to be seduced by the wrong wildling.

Gelmar, raider
Status: Dead, flayed alive by Ramsay Snow
Why he matters: He probably was a huge jerk. All of the ironborn are jerks.

Wex, raider
Status: Dead, flayed alive by Ramsay Snow
Why he matters: He probably was a huge jerk. All of the ironborn are jerks.

Stygg, raider
Status: Dead, flayed alive by Ramsay Snow
Why he matters: He probably was a huge jerk. All of the ironborn are jerks.

Aggar, raider
Status: Dead, flayed alive by Ramsay Snow
Why he matters: He probably was a huge jerk. All of the ironborn are jerks.

credit: 3.bp.blogspot.com
THE DORNES AND THEIR VASSALS

We have not met any of the Dornes yet. This was the easiest House to write about.
[Ed. note: Hey Dean. Um . . . I'm sure that this is kind of getting into your brain at this point and you are probably not thinking very clearly. But the reason we haven't met any "Dornes" yet is because Dorne is a place. It's like if you were trying to say 'we haven't met any Winterfells yet.' Which we haven't because they would all be dead due to honor and extreme burns and such. What I think you MEANT to say is that we haven't met any Martells yet . . . because they are the leading house on the Dorne peninsula. Isn't that right? Or am I wrong as well? And if you might suspect that I put this here to help space out the "Dornes"and the next category . . . we'll you'd be right about that. And also, are you ever going to finish this thing? Season Four begins this Sunday you know.]

credit: img2.wikia.nocookie.net/
THE BROTHERHOOD WITHOUT BANNERS

Berric Dondarion, renegade knight
Status: Alive, but has died 6 times.
Why he matters: He’s the only nobleman who seems to notice what the war is doing to those who aren’t a member of a noble line. He’s died quite a few times. Eddard Stark sent him to stop Gregor Clegane.

Thoros, Red Priest
Status: Alive, bringing people back to life
Why he matters: He can bring people back from the dead. Or rather, he can bring one person back from the dead. The Lord of Light seems legit. What have the old gods or the new gods done?

Anguy, Archer
Status: Alive, shooting some arrows
Why he matters: He’s really good at shooting arrows. Really good.

Hot Pie, maker of pies
Status: Alive, making pies
Why he matters: He befriended Arya and made her some bread in the shape of a wolf. Hot Pie is alright.

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Part 4 of Dean's Ridiculously Long GoT Overview

credit: hbo.com
THE ARRYNS AND THEIR VASSELS

Lysa Arryn, sister of Catleyn Stark, widow of Jon Arryn, mother of Robin Arryn
Status: Alive, about to be wooed by Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish
Why she matters: She’s crazy. Also she refuses to choose a side in the War of Five Kings.


 Vardis Egen, novice aviator
Status: Dead, took a trip through the moon door courtesy of Bronn
Why he matters: Had he defeated Bronn, Tyrion Lannister would have taken flight through the moon door instead.

Jon Arryn, husband of Lysa Arryn, father of Robin Arryn, Lord of the Eyrie, Hand of the King
Status: Dead, of very suspicious circumstances
Why he matters: His notes help Eddard Stark realize that Robert’s children are not Baratheons. His death leads Eddard to become Hand of the King setting off the events of the show.

Robin Arryn, son of Jon and Lysa Arryn, Lord Paramount of the Vale
Status: Alive, at the Eyrie
Why he matters: This poor child with a crazy mother. He has no chance.

Mord, jailer of the Eyrie
Status: Alive, at the Eyrie
Why he matters: He helps Tyrion get a trial. He is now a wealthy jailor.

Ser Hugh of the Vale, unaccomplished jouster, squire to Jon Arryn
Status: Dead, killed by Gregor Clegane during a joust
Why he matters: His death leads Barristan Selmy and Varys to conclude that he had something to do with the death of Jon Arryn and he was killed to prevent him from talking.

credit: www.hbo.com
THE TULLYS THEIR VASSALS AND OTHER ALLIES        

Hoster Tully, father of Edmure Tully, Catelyn Stark, and Lysa Arryn
Status: Dead, but of old age! That’s an achievement!
Why he matters: His son is now head of the House Tully. Well, that line is going nowhere fast.

Brynden “the Blackfish” Tully, uncle of Edmure Tully, Catelyn Stark, and Lysa Arryn, brother of Hoster Tully
Status: Alive, running from the Red Wedding
Why he matters: He’s much cooler than Edmure Tully. He knows the most opportune moments to have to pee.

Edmure Tully, son of Hoster Tully, brother of Catelyn Stark and Lysa Arryn
Status: Alive, hostage at the Twins
Why he matters: He sucks. At least he married the hottest Frey. His marriage turns into the Red Wedding.

Jaremy Mallister,
knight of House Mallister
Status: Dead, killed at Harrenhall on the orders of Gregor Clegane
Why he matters: Gregor Clegane does not recognize the Geneva Conventions.

Jonos Bracken, head of House Bracken
Status: Alive, fighting for the Starks
Why he matters: He’s literally the only vassal of the Tully’s we meet other than Walder Frey. For a major house we sure don’t know a lot about their lands.

Kurleket, knight of House Bracken
Status: Dead, killed by hill tribesmen on the way to the Eyrie
Why he matters: Did you know he had a name? I didn’t. I learned something. He probably has a family. You couldn’t even remember his name or who he served. We’re all monsters.

credit: www.hbo.com
THE FREYS (OH I’VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE)

Lord Walder Frey, Lord of the Twins, father and grandfather of numerous Frey spawn.
Status: Alive, lording it up at Twins
Why he matters: Do you like the Starks? Well, he killed them all. I hope you’re happy. George R.R. Martin kills everything you love. Stop loving people.

Joyeuse Erenford, wife of Lord Walder Frey
Status: Dead, throat slit by Catelyn Stark
Why she matters: Catelyn Stark was not joking. RIP Joyeuse Erenford, you probably led a terrible life. May you never meet another Frey.

Roslin Frey, daughter of Walder Frey, wife of Edmure Tully
Status: Alive
Why she matters: Her marriage to Edmure Tully is the Red Wedding.

“Fat Walda” Bolton, wife of Roose Bolton, granddaughter of Waldrer Frey
Status: Alive, married to Roose Bolton the poor girl
Why she matters: Roose Bolton got her weight in silver as dowry. Roose Bolton is now rich.

Stevron Frey, eldest son of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why he matters: He’ll be Lord of the Twins when Walder Frey dies. Walder Frey will never die.

Walder Rivers, bastard of Walder Frey and a milkmaid
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why he matters: So many Freys

Lothar Frey, son of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why he matters: He hired the “musicians” for the Red Wedding. He stabs Talisa in the stomach at the Red Wedding.

Olyvar Frey, son of Walder Frey, squire to Robb Stark
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why he matters: His knighthood is part of the agreement for Robb Stark’s army to pass the Twins. So many Freys.

Waldron Frey, son of Walder Frey, betrothed to Arya Stark
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why he matters: He’s betrothed to Arya Stark. Good luck with that.

Walda Frey, daughter of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark could have married her. He didn’t. Red Wedding. So many Freys.

Derwa Frey, daughter of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark could have married her. He didn’t. Red Wedding. So many Freys.

Waldra Frey, daughter of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark could have married her. He didn’t. Red Wedding. So many Freys.

Shirei Frey, daughter of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark couldn’t have married her. She’s too young. So many Freys.

Janeya Frey, granddaughter of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark could have married her. He didn’t. Red Wedding. So many Freys.

Neyela Frey, granddaughter of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark could have married her. He didn’t. Red Wedding. So many Freys.

Serra Frey, granddaughter of Walder Frey, twin of Sarra Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark could have married her or her twin Sarra Frey, or both as far as Walder Frey cared. He didn’t. Red Wedding. So many Freys.

Sarra Frey, granddaughter of Walder Frey, twin of Serra Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark could have married her or her twin Serra Frey, or both as far as Walder Frey cared. He didn’t. Red Wedding. So many Freys.

Marianne Frey, granddaughter of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark could have married her. He didn’t. Red Wedding. So many Freys.

Freya Frey, granddaughter of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark could have married her. He didn’t. Red Wedding. So many Freys.

Merry Frey, granddaughter of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why she matters: Robb Stark could have married her. He didn’t. Red Wedding. So many Freys.

“Black Walder” Frey, great-grandson of Walder Frey
Status: Alive, at the Twins
Why he matters: He’s the one who kills Catelyn Stark

THERE ARE OTHER FREYS IN THE WORLD. SO MANY FREYS.