Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Dean & David's Televison Top 10 for 2014: Part Two

Yesterday I posted  my Top 10 Television shows of 2014 and I willingly let Dean comment upon it.

But now I get to offer up Dean's views and give my comments about what HE wrote--and trust me when I tell you that he is wrong in many ways.


So, I’m the one that suggested this, and I already kind of regret it. Narrowing down a list of my favorite TV shows down to just 10 is a herculean task. I have this cornucopia of great TV shows to choose from, each one I love for their own unique reason. Picking only ten would cause me too much pain, so I will start off by cheating and listing my Honorable Mentions: Legend of Korra (Nickelodeon), Community (NBC, but soon to be Yahoo), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox), Adventure Time (Cartoon Network), Ground Floor (TBS), Justified (FX), Enlisted (Fox). I could plausibly swap any of these shows into my top ten and wouldn’t regret it. But them’s the shakes I guess.

David: First, didn’t Hercules perform 12 tasks? And wasn’t this supposed to be a Top 10 list? Can’t you count? And second thing, I should have thought of a way to include Adventure Time . . . and maybe even Gravity Falls--which my kids have worn me down into watching. But, I understand what 10 means.

I would also like to give a semi apology to Legend of Korra: This show could easily have cracked the top 10, but because Nickelodeon makes me watch it on a small computer monitor instead of my TV, I have fallen behind on the episodes, and it falls out of the top 10.

You should watch all of those shows. They are great.

On to the winners. (You’re winners too, Honorable Mentions! I love you all equally!)

10. Archer (FX)
Why it’s a Top 10 Show: Look, any show with Jon Benjamin is already going to have an easy time making my top ten list, so it’s not really fair. Add in Cheryl/Carol turning into the country music star complete with a real life musical album (sung by the super-talented Jessy Lynn Martens) and I’m putty in Archer’s hands.

Notable quote: “Are we not doing phrasing anymore!?”

David: Maybe someday I’ll watch Archer . . . but that time is not now. It feels a bit too much like more mainstream Adult Swim. How would I explain it to anyone else?

9. Rectify (Sundance)
Why it’s a Top 10 Show: Because there’s nothing else quite like it on television. While some shows are seemingly afraid of showing stillness, this show sometimes is nearly nothing but an exploration of stillness. It provides an intimate look at the wounds a (possibly wrongful) murder conviction left on a family and it’s great.

Notable quote: “We call it lethal injection humor - more humane, but not as funny.”

David: I’ve never even heard of this show. Do you mean Justified? What is going on?

8. Bob’s Burgers (Fox)
Why it’s a Top 10 Show: Well, Jon Benjamin is the star…but also it’s endlessly quotable, amazingly funny, and it’s got heart. Never underestimate the power of heart in making a comedy great.

Notable quote: “My life is more difficult than anyone else’s on the planet, and YES, I’m including starving children, so DON’T ASK.” (Runner up: Ugh, my heart just pooped its pants.”)

David: Look, I’m as tired of hearing about H. Jon Benjamin as YOU are tired of hearing about “Arrow”. But I’ll overlook it this time because I appreciate the Captain Planet reference that I am waaaaaaay too old to admit that I remember.

7. The Americans (FX)
Why it’s a Top 10 Show: It’s a tense spy thriller that’s actually about family! What could be better? (The answer is . . . these six shows listed below this one. Are you paying attention?) It’s also a top 10 show because it highlights the incredible wig technology of 1980s Soviet spies. This is an important public service.

Notable quote: “You know a Salisbury steak is technically a hamburger. In the shape of a steak.” Wise words Paige. Wise words.

David: Horrible job by me that I didn’t include this in my list. No excuses. I apologize to the 80s hot Keri Russell’s, to Keri Russell’s excellent blue jeans, to Matthew Rhys’ “Glen glasses”, to what USED to be Margo Martindale’s career, and to all of those Soviet wigs.

6. Game of Thrones (HBO)
Why it’s a Top 10 Show: I named my daughter Arya, so I’m predisposed to like this show and rate it highly. But if I need to defend it more: It has dragons, wights, and medieval combat: what’s not to like?

Notable quote: “There is only one hell…the one we live in now.”

David: What? You cover Game of Thrones in less than 50 words? You’ve changed, Dean and I’m not sure I like it.Where is the dude that posted thousands of words about GoT?

5. Broad City (Comedy Central)
Why it’s a Top 10 Show: Because Ilana and Abbi are vulgar, messy, and hilarious. Also because of this:
Notable quote: “I'm not putting weed up inside of me because I'm an adult and I'm responsible.”

David: Are you making these shows up? I do watch TV, you know. You can’t just make up fictional shows and expect me not to notice.

4. Rick and Morty (Adult Swim)
Why it’s a Top 10 Show: It’s a version of Back to the Future that takes the relationship between Marty and Doc seriously in the most demented wondrously weird way possible. Anything is possible, even if they can only get away with destroying their earth three or four more times, tops. Also because of Mr. Meseeeks.

Notable quote:  “I'm Ants in My Eyes Johnson here at Ants in My Eyes Johnson's Electronics! I mean, there's so many ants in my eyes! And there's so many TVs! Microwaves! Radios, I think! I can't, I'm not 100 percent sure what we have here in stock, because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low! Check out this refrigerator! Only $200! What about this microwave? Only $100, that's fair! I'm Ants in My Eyes Johnson! Everythings black! I can't see a thing! And also, I can't feel anything either, [sets ablaze] did I mention that? But that's not as catchy, as having ants in your eyes, so... that always goes... y'know, off by the wayside! I can't feel, it's a very rare disease, all my se— all my nerves, they don't allow for the sensation of touch! So I never know what's going on! Am I standing, sitting? I don't know!”

David: Well, I hope you had fun with that quote because we’ve lost our adult, tax-paying demographic now. Next time, why don’t you try to explain “Too Many Cooks” to the WWYG?! audience?  I think I need to go over the focus testing numbers with you again before I let you guest post in the future.

3. Orange is the New Black (Netflix)
Why it’s a Top 10 Show: It’s funny and poignant. I really don’t feel like I need to write too much here as so much ink has been spilled on this show already. It deserves its spot here is all I’m saying.

Notable quote: “O’Neil, scatter the nuns!”

David: I think I find this show more intriguing if I listen to yáll mysteriously talk about it during lunch while I sit silently and chew.

2. Review (Comedy Central)
Why it’s a Top 10 Show: Because somehow they took the premise “A man reviews life experiences” and turned it into something incredible. Andy Daly’s performance as Forrest slowly unravels is a marvel to behold. Pancakes, Divorce, Pancakes is the most bleakly funny episode of any show this year.

Notable quote: “Racism: Half a star.”

David: Again, Comedy Central is an actual functioning network. It is not your playground of imagination. I think you could have fit a few of your Honorable Mention shows on this list IF you hadn’t been making up fictional programming.

1. You’re The Worst (FX)
Why it’s a Top 10 Show: There were a ton of new romantic comedies this year, and all of them forgot the comedy part of rom-com, and probably not coincidentally, all of them failed to make me care about the romance as well. They all had quirky best friends who were actually just annoying. All of them except You’re The Worst. Somehow it made me care about a romance between two awful people, and it made it look easy. It took the stock quirky best friends and made them human beings with flaws and wants and needs. Take notes other romantic comedies, You’re the Worst knows how to do it. Also Paul is the best. You blew it Lindsey.

Notable quote: (said sadly) “They’re everyone’s stars.”

David: I WILL watch this.

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