Sunday, June 28, 2009

So much for the awesome power of orange oil

Well Tom, no one said you weren't clever.

You'd have to be to avoid detection this long. I'm sure you figured out that the death of Michael Jackson would provide suitable cover for your latest act of celebriticide. And you are right. MTV and VH1 have been running videos all weekend.

What was it that set you off this time Tom?

Has Suri been making lots of messes around the house? Believe me, Tom, I know how messy kids can be. Did you hear Katie complaining that the Oxi Clean wasn't getting the grass stains out of Suri's dress hose? Was the OrangeGlo not keeping the wood furniture dust-free? Or was it simply Billy's excessive pointing and shouting that gave Suri nightmares all the time?

Tom, we were all a bit uncomfortable with Billy's pitch style. And we've all had to face the disappointment of exaggerated expectations (like, um "Valkyrie" or maybe "The Last Samurai"). But you can afford to buy new clothes for Suri if they don't come clean. And you can hire maids to dust every day if need be.

Murder isn't the answer to ALL of your problems, Tom.

Take a rest please. Ron Popiel can't get a food night's sleep anymore.

-- Posted From My iPhone (so, I apologize in advance for any typos I missed)

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