Friday, June 27, 2008

Good news/Bad news

  1. We're repairing stuff on the house left and right this Spring & Summer--i.e. rebuilding and redecorating the fireplace area, removing old deck and replacing with concrete patio, getting landscaping estimates for the backyard, repairing bathroom leak upstairs guest toilet, inspecting ever-older HVAC unit in basement. / We're spending money like we're nuts, plus the grass in the backyard is all ripped up and trampled, there are big piles of leftover dirt to be utilized elsewhere that's killing other areas of grass, and we're always leaving the office to be at home in the afternoon for some repair or inspection or another thing . . . and there is a hole in the ceiling above the dining room table that is just screwing up the feng shui.

  2. We are a house divided . . . between PIRATES and NINJAS! Grace and Lynda favor pirates while Sarah and I favor ninjas. Hannah is as of yet, unable to state a preference, but I suspect that she will--at her earliest convenience, choose ninjas because babies like black and white color contrasts. Who wears black . . . ? Ninjas, that's who!

  3. We are going on vacation. / We have to pack the van with everything . . . and we're not going here. (Seriously? What is this place about, anyway? It seems to be, judging by the photographs, catering to the young and sexy who are only interested in the sex. And, can someone please tell me how in the sam hill you are supposed to climb up into that crazy champagne tub thing? Is there a hidden elevator? I would imagine that doing a sexy strip tease for your partner and then acting like a rhesus monkey to climb the side of it would sort of be a buzz kill, right? But even once you're up there, having your fun, good luck maintaining the sexiness while you slip down the side of the elevated tub, covered in soap suds. Breaking a hip doesn't keep the fun going.)

  4. During the summer we don't have to drive two cars and can carpool as a family once more. / Remember how we have to leave all the time in the afternoon to be available for HVAC inspectors and plumbers? Well, that means we BOTH have to leave.

  5. I've been watching VH1's "I Love the New Millennium" (I know . . . and shut up.) which has been funny in spots and reminds me of things I said about stuff a few years ago, but no one was around with a camera. / I'm subjected to the same Taco Bell Queso Crunchwrap commercial about 12 times a night. But, I am kind of feeling sorry for Taco Bell, because they do have a dilemma. How do you continue to create new food products when you have the same six ingredients in everything? You just sit around trying to think of new shapes and stuff. It's got to be hard.

  6. I'm rewatching Joss Whedon's Firefly and that's a good thing. It's set in space, don'tcha know. / But it made me wonder this morning . . . the human characteristics of intelligence, curiosity, and inventiveness is a recipe for disaster. What other species will willingly inject themselves into a foreign environment, surrounding themselves with thin metal spheres and temporary, artificially-created atmospheres? It's a recipe for eventual disaster and a precarious way to live. But humans have been doing it forever. Tired of this land? Build a rickety, leaky boat and sail across the unbreathable mass of water in search of God knows what. Hey, what's under that water? Build a precarious sphere and try to go ever deeper, fighting off crushing pressure, more leaks, and who knows what. You know, I'm tired of the planet. Well, get off of it . . . the only place we know of that supports life. I'm sure you'll be fine. (I know this makes me sound like a curmudgeonly Luddite who doesn't want to leave his house, but the utter precariousness of it is sometimes stunning. Best not to think about it, I guess.

  7. Shirtless and I played golf last week at a cheap 9-hole course that's not far from where I live. Fun! / Unfortunately, it seems that this course is cursed, as we played HORRIBLY!

  8. Recently, my office loosened the dress code (such as it previously had been) and allowed us to wear jeans to work on Fridays. / Unfortunately, the semi-weekly angst over stretching the loosened dress code causes a flurry of emails, heartburn, and general, childish chaos.

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