Thursday, August 03, 2006

Playing with toys

Sometime last spring I saw an Internet article about a toy/memorabilia company that was hopping on the LOST bandwagon to produce "action figure" like items for the main characters of the show. But don't think these are cheap Mattel 1970s era Star Wars toys.

These are high end sculpture-like figures. They aren't exactly something that you play with, really. You just buy them and signify your nerdiness with their mere presence.

You can read more about the figurines via this Popwatch article, but don't worry. I've got you covered with all the important stuff you need to know.

The first picture they provided a while back was of the Charlie figure.

As I promised, these are high quality items. The level of detail is impressive. But it gets even better. Each figurine also has a voice microchip that delivers dialogue relevant to each character. And each figurine has a character-specific prop. (Charlie's is a Driveshaft ring.) But it's the dialogue chosen for each that I find as funny as anything else about this entire enterprise. I think they really did a good job selecting lines that truly capture the person's essence.

For instance, Charlie sings "You all everybody... You all everybody..." and says: "Guys... where are we?" -"You don't know me! I'm a bloody Rock God!" Perfect Charlie--annoying, self-centered.

Hurley is shown from Season 1 at the makeshift golf game. He comes with a lottery ticket and speaks such pearls of wisdom as: "Dude... I'm starving... I'm nowhere near that hungry." -"You got some... Arzt... on you." -"Stop! Wait! The numbers are bad!" -"Welcome, to the first... and hopefully last... Island Open."

Our main man Jack is shown here in closeup. The figure seems to be depicting him on the beach in episode one as he decided how to save 15 people simultaneously while the plane's wreckage burns around him. Isn't he dreamily authoritative? His prop (for some reason) is a mug shot of Kate. Why? Don't know. But his voice chip tells us that: "If we can't live together, we're going to die alone." -"Everybody wants me to be a leader, until I make a decision that they don't like." -"There's something that you need to know... We're going to have a Locke problem, and I have to know that you've got my back."

Lovely Kate is here shown escaping from Lostzilla after Greg Grunberg's (the Flight 815 pilot) death in episode one. Her prop, naturally, is the mysterious toy plane that she kept in the bank's safety deposit box. As you might guess, her microchip produces stupid and pointless remarks such as: "Jack!" (thunderclap and rain) -(frightened) "One... Two... Three... Four... Five..." -"If you're thinking about going for the cockpit, I'm going with you." -"I only made-out with him, because torturing him didn't work." Sad, really.

As usual, Locke is looking pretty awesome. The detail in this figurine is very good, right down to his multiple knives and water bottle. Keep in mind that this is season one bad-ass Locke, the one that would do anything to get in the Hatch back before he became Hatch-bound and sad. His prop is a walkabout brochure and he says mysteriously sinister things such as: "I've looked into the eye of this island, and what I saw... was beautiful." -"Don't ever tell me what I can't do! Ever!" -”Do you want to know a secret?"

The company even provides a Shannon figurine, but really, this could be anyone. Her face isn'textremelyy distinct. Her prop is a map of the island. Did she have one? Is it the Rousseau map with the French song lyrics? However, her microchip dialogue is priceless: "What's a four-letter word for 'I don't care'?" -"The plane had a black box, idiot... I'll eat on the rescue boat." -"You want my information? Name: Shannon Rutherford. Age: 20. Address: Craphole Island." A perfect Shannon mixture of disdain, disgust, and rudeness. Bravo on that one.

I am sure they'll eventually get around to Sayid, Zombie Boone, Claire, Ana Lucia, Rose, Bernard, Henry Gale, and the traitor Michael that does nothing but scream "My Boooy!" and "Waaaaaalllt!" until you go nuts and throw it against the wall. And of course, there has to be a shirtless Sawyer figurine that looks extreme angry and recites each and every nickname for each character.

So, keep your eyes open for that.

Thanks to McFarlane Online.

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