Friday, August 18, 2006

Helpful Hints

While researching to update a graph to show the current supply curve for corn (WHEEEE!!) I was perusing the impenetrable pages of date at the Bureau of Labor Statistics (no, seriously . . . WHEEEE!!).

Through a series of mouse clicks that I can't exactly reproduce for you now, I hit upon the Occupations Classifications System Manual, an amazing list of government-approved Census Bureau job titles. I hope that some of these are more historical than current, because if they are not, the dizzying array of occupations for today's American worker is staggering beyond belief . . . and would emphasize to anyone out there that if you don't like your job, there are about a bazillion other ones that someone is doing.

For example, every wanted to be a Hot-tamale Man? No? Well, what about Hoister. House girl, Horser-up, Hook-Up Man, Hole Filler, High-speed-warper tender, High climber, Herb digger, Hedge Trimmer, or Heddler?

How about Headline Writer, or Headman (sure!)?

Want to be in a position of authority? Okay, then try out Head worker . . . or Head swamper (yes, please!)? Head ironer, Head loader, or simply Head holder.

For variety you could be a Hash slinger by day and a Harpist at night. A Harmonica maker or a Harmonic analyst. A Handy Man (or Handy Girl). A Hand weaver, Hand sander, or Hand grinder (ouch, ouch, and OUCH!).

Maybe you want to be a Hand clerk or a Hand passer (is that government lingo for Center and Quarterback?).

Or maybe working for the Man just isn't for you? Well, sorry bub, but the government even classifies the Hucksters.

So, get out there and follow your Bliss. Do the thing that defines YOU!

1 comment:

Sven Golly said...

Fun stuff. Somehow it brings out the 12-year-old in me...
When I grow up, I wanna be a Hair boiler, Half backer, Ham boner, Heliotherapist, Hypo dipper, Huckster, Hot-saw man, Hot-stick man, Hot-box spotter, or High-lift-mule operator.