Thursday, December 09, 2004

Live and Learn

Today was not one of my finest days in the workplace.

Several things came up that made me wish I had made different choices earlier or done things a bit differently before now. But I didn't and now as my project shifts from the preparation stage to the checking phase, I fully realize that I am facing a task that is probably larger, more complicated, and more difficult than it should have been in the beginning.

I made choices and now I am regretting those choices. That is "on me" as the kids say today, but the other part of my disgruntlement that sticks in my craw a bit is that I know enough to have known better at the time. If I had stopped and taken a longer view, using the experience and knowledge that I have acquired in the last several years, I could have avoided some of this.

And for someone else to say that they should have told me what to do (indicating that I don't know enough to do it) is doubly annoying because I DO know what to do, but of course I didn't choose to do everything that I COULD have done. So, I really AM the stupid one, aren't I?

Just crappy . . . and intentionally obscure. But Tegan and I talked it over tonight and I feel better about it now. That is one of the nice benefits about both of us working in the same place--we have the same work vocabulary, so we can really understand each other when discussing job-related problems.

And, even more important, I put Ruth to bed tonight, and all of that job stuff is far less important that having your adorable baby snuggling up to you in the rocking chair, and desperately trying not to fall asleep. (Every time I suggested to her that I put her in the crib, she vigorously shakes her hair and emphatically says "No" in the cutest little baby voice.

(Sorry for the parental gushing, but it really is better than continuing to vaguely complain about work.)

Anyway, tonight I relax and forget about all bad things. What comes tomorrow is tomorrow's problem.

Today's step count: A suspicious 2934. Did I really more than double yesterday's total or just jiggle my leg around in frustration?

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