Monday, December 13, 2004

Breaking News!!!

Newsweek and Time do it every year. The Daily Show made fun of them for it.

These magazines run a cover story in December on "The Birth of Jesus" or "The Real Jesus" or something along those lines. What else do they have to say I wonder? Sometimes I read the stories, but this year I confess that I have not done so. I just can't get very excited about it.

But there are some things I can try to get excited about. I wrapped stray Christmas presents tonight, attempting to take a break from doing some office work and needing to get away from the computer for a while this evening.

I am not particularly good at wrapping gifts. My wrapping is never taut and I am sure I waste more paper than I need and my lines aren't straight. Martha Stewart would shake her head in shame . . . if she wasn't currently serving time. (BOOYAH!)

But wrap I did, and it made me think of how we used to wrap presents when I was a kid. For whatever reason, we seemed to gravitate to my parents room to wrap presents on their bed. {Maybe the wrapping was kept in their closet . . . I don't remember.) We all knew, that past a certain time in December, if the door was closed (and sometimes locked for extra protection) then you shouldn't know what was going on and maybe someone was wrapping a present to you.

Over the years I have tried to get past my bad wrapping skills by being "creative" (which is probably a more polite word for lazy and unskilled). One memorable year in college, I simply placed presents in regular white, department store shirt boxes, taped them securely, and drew the recipient's name in cursive script by holding several markers of various color in my hand. You are probably imagining what this looks like now and either remember doing it yourself or have no idea what I am talking about. If you are the latter, stop whatever you are doing right now and try it . . . I'll wait.

Done? Wasn't that cool? But wouldn't it be a huge letdown to see an amateurish box decorated in such a manner under the Christmas tree? Well, no one disowned me that year.

Sometimes I wonder why we even bother to wrap gifts in my immediate family right now. It's not like we can put them under the tree, because Ruth will wander along, grab something, and start unwrapping immediately. So, it is best to simply keep gifts hidden away and out of the reach of small children. But I HATE having a Christmas tree with no presents under it. Maybe we could put some sort of invisible fence around the tree, but then I wouldn't be able to plug it in and I would probably violate some sort of child welfare laws.

So, I have some wrapped presents, but no where to put them. What should I do?

Today's step count: 3124

2 comments:

lulu said...

Come ON!! Put the presents under the tree and keep that kid of yours under control! Do I have to call "The Nanny" on you?

Why not put a train around the tree and presents? Make it a big, black, huffing, growling devil train with an eerie red headlight. THAT will keep her away.

Jack Thunder said...

or you can put the presents under MY tree!
the tree is fiberoptic and badass and i'm sure nothing bad would probably happen to those presents. . .