Friday, August 13, 2004

Tom Cruise takes a holiday

Another of my coworkers, Flipper just alerted me to some sad news. Julia Childs has died at the age of 91.

I felt close to Julia because I watch cooking shows and I have made coq au vin once. I also feel sad that, according to, her publisher, made the announcement. That bothers me, that a human being with at least some family somwhere, leaves it up to the business partner to let the world know of a death.

But, the real news here is to further my theory that Tom Cruise is a killing machine, not only in his recent movie Collateral, but in real life also.

My theory goes something like this:

1. Tom and Nicole divorce.
2. Nicole fairly quickly wins an Oscar, driving Oscarless Tom crazier than normal.
3. Tom begins his quest to become the most dominant force in Hollywood by systematically killing off all of Hollywood. (Remember that several months ago, a new celebrity was dying almost every week? Sure many of them were old, but Tom was new to the killing game and he is pretty short.)

So, did Cruise kill Julia?
No . . . why would he?
My money is on Jacques Pepin as the killer. He was tired of being the French chef living in Julia's shadow.


flipper said...

Another small, sad thing to point out: In the CNN Breaking News alert, they called her "Julia Child" and described her as a "TV cooking expert."

MMMmmmmm . . . there's nothing better than a properly cooked TV!

A P said...

Your Jacques Pepin suggestion only further solidifies Tom's evil genius!

He just keeps throwing us all off the trail . . .