Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Lileks must die so that I can live

I know that I live a very ordinary and typical life.

Frankly, I have intentionally taken steps throughout my life to achieve that very end.

But, it is damaging when you are confronted with the exact scope of your ordinariness and the carbon-copyness of who you are and what you do.

Let me explain.

In one of my recent posts I mentioned that I had bought a Macintosh and that I was a Mac fan from way back. Heck, I even referenced the 1984 "Big Brother" Super Bowl commercial. So, right there I was establishing my bona fides for being a non-conformist, right?

But . . . see, that's wrong. I'm (apparently) a blue, button-down, khaki pants wearing member of the freakin' establishment. Want proof? Well, look no further than the website of the esteemed James Lileks, or as I might start calling him, Darth Burb (or maybe Bizarro Burb or anti-Burb or something of that nature).

If you visit his site--which I know some of you already have--you might see that Mr. Lileks and I share similarities.

I write about the banalities of my day and the activities of my kids (even with "aliases" to protect the innocent . . . and so does he.
I have recently written about Star Wars . . . and so has he.
I have published books on pop culture in the early decades of the twentieth century . . . no, wait, only he has done that . . . so far as YOU know.

I mean, this guy would PROBABLY spend several days complaining about his faulty air conditioning--assuming that anything ever goes wrong in his idyllic world of familiar/internet perfection!

I worry that I am going to be heading down a rabbit hole of endless comparisons. Just last night I spent a small amount of time scanning some of his archived posts and (because I'm in a receptive mood, thanks to this post theme, I saw some interesting comparisons.)

To wit:
1. He is a Star Wars and Star Trek fan.
2. He loves Apple products and I am a recent (re)convert.
3. His child was born in 2000. Ariel was also born in 2000.
4. He constantly peppers his observations with media references, music, etc.

Does he have a codependent relationship with his friends? I wonder.

What am I saying here? As much as I hesitate to do it, and shudder to contemplate the possibility, I feel that Mr. Lileks (no matter how well intentioned he might be) must be "dealt with."

Only then can Burb flourish and watch his blogging empire grow!


flipper said...

Two comments, one appropos to this post, the other not.

First, burb, if you need some "muscle" in dealing with this Lileks person, you know you can count on me!

And second, you're STILL reading "Fast Food Nation"? Geesh. McDonald's will have switched to space-age flavor capsules by the time you finish that book.

David said...

Yeah . . . I know. I take forever to read books these days. By the time I get home, get dinner eaten and cleaned up, then get kids cleaned up and asleep it is probably 9 to 9:30. And then I am too tired to read without falling asleep in 15 minutes. Plus, I have to do occasional night blogs or watch television, so a lot of stuff gets in the way.

Sorry to disappoint.