Welcome one, welcome all to the 2017 edition of my Fall Cable TV Preview that David is kind enough to let me write up every year. If you’re looking for Broadcast TV you will find none of that here. This is only cable and streaming. If I miss a show you’re looking forward to I’m not sorry. There’s a lot of TV out there.
To make the preview more helpful I’ve added how much I’m looking forward to each show. I think it’ll really help you decide!
[I have to question your ratings system, Dean. It only helped me marginally, and I am almost a big a Peak TVer as you are.]
SUNDAYS
The Deuce HBO (Premieres
September 10th) I presume this is Rob Schneider’s new show
following up on his smash hit Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. Should be pretty funny!
*Actually does 5 seconds of google research*
OK I have been informed that this is a David Simon show so it’s really quite unlikely that this is funny and is probably really dark. David Simon is always worth watching so even if you don’t really like James Franco (he plays a twin so there will be a lot of him) you should still check it out.
*Actually does 5 seconds of google research*
OK I have been informed that this is a David Simon show so it’s really quite unlikely that this is funny and is probably really dark. David Simon is always worth watching so even if you don’t really like James Franco (he plays a twin so there will be a lot of him) you should still check it out.
How Much Dean
is looking forward to it: The Wire Season 3
[I likely wont' watch it and then later regret it. Somehow, I've entirely missed the Simonverse.]
[I likely wont' watch it and then later regret it. Somehow, I've entirely missed the Simonverse.]
Fear the Walking Dead AMC
(Returns September 10th): Pros: It has Kim Dickens who I love
forever and always. Cons: I’m told it’s not really very good and I don’t care
about zombies.
How Much Dean is looking
forward to it: Gotham Season 2
[Boy . . . you are REALLY looking forward to this!]
[Boy . . . you are REALLY looking forward to this!]
Top of the Lake: China Girl Sundance
(Returns September 10th) Do you like Elizabeth Moss? Perhaps you
like her so much you search out everything she does? That is a very reasonable
opinion to have and I have good news! She is in this show and is very good in
it! She solves crimes and it is devastating! Gwendoline Christie is in this
season as well, so now you truly have no reason not to watch it. It also has
Nicole Kidman and Holly Hunter in it, so it’s just gilding the lily now.
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: Mad
Men Season 7B
[The name of the show is annoying. Don't CSI everything Sundance Channel.]
[The name of the show is annoying. Don't CSI everything Sundance Channel.]
Vice Principals HBO (Returns
September 17th) I like Walton Goggins and hate Danny McBride and
so far my hate for Danny McBride has kept me from this show.
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: Eastbound
and Down
[I tried watching a few episodes of this. But I think watching the commercials for it provides all the humor I need from this show. It feels like the sort of thing I could burn through on HBO GO anytime I felt like it. Definitely NOT appointment viewing.]
[I tried watching a few episodes of this. But I think watching the commercials for it provides all the humor I need from this show. It feels like the sort of thing I could burn through on HBO GO anytime I felt like it. Definitely NOT appointment viewing.]
Star Trek: Discovery CBS All Access
(Premieres September 24th) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 10 people are
going to sign up for this Web site. It is going to fail so badly. I’m sorry that
CBS only understands old people Star Trek fans and is going to bungle your
beloved franchise so badly. The good news is you should be used to it by now (Scott
Bakula was the best captain.)
How Much
Dean is looking forward to it: Star Trek: Nemesis
[I have no criticism of this review on any level, from the sentiment to the rating. Oh . . . wait . . . your opinion of Scott Bakula is bullshit. Other than that, you are 100% correct. And I now qualify as "old person Star Trek fan!"]
[I have no criticism of this review on any level, from the sentiment to the rating. Oh . . . wait . . . your opinion of Scott Bakula is bullshit. Other than that, you are 100% correct. And I now qualify as "old person Star Trek fan!"]
Curb Your Enthusiasm HBO
(Returns October 1st) Some people like Larry David. I am not one
of those people.
How Much Dean is
looking forward to it: Seinfeld, any season
The Walking Dead AMC (Returns October 22nd) I presume
you are watching this and therefore know more about it than I do. Make up your
own mind, I can’t do everything for you.
How
Much Dean is looking forward to it: Gotham Season 3
[Turning away from all things TWD has made my life better. Maybe not by much. But definitely better.]
[Turning away from all things TWD has made my life better. Maybe not by much. But definitely better.]
SMILF Showtime (Premieres November 5th) This is truly
the Cougar Town of titles and I’m not going to bother looking up what it’s
about. I’m definitely going to judge this book only on its title and not watch
it. (This is an easy call since I don’t have Showtime.)
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: Real Housewives of Atlanta
Search Party TBS (Returns November 19th) I did not like
this show but David did. Ask him about it. I don’t even know why you’re asking me
about this.
How Much Dean is looking
forward to it: Love Season 1
[Search Party was fun. My Georgia roots demand that I find something to watch on TBS. Why not this?]
[Search Party was fun. My Georgia roots demand that I find something to watch on TBS. Why not this?]
MONDAYS
The Opposition with Jordan Klemmer Comedy Central (Premieres September
25th) Jon
Stewart was wrong that Crossfire was hurting America. The rise of The Daily
Show and the smug style in American late-night comedies are actually the things hurting America. Anyway, this is yet another The Daily Show clone by a The Daily Show
alum.
How Much Dean is looking forward
to it: Full Frontal w/Samantha Bee
[Based on your rating, I assume you are also one of those dudes who hates all-female Ghostbusters? Don't be threatened Dean! (I know you don't really feel this way.) And I agree that there is too much of these shows. Just give Chris Hardwick a whole hour-and-a-half for a mega-sized @Midnight block from 11:30 to 1 am.]
[Based on your rating, I assume you are also one of those dudes who hates all-female Ghostbusters? Don't be threatened Dean! (I know you don't really feel this way.) And I agree that there is too much of these shows. Just give Chris Hardwick a whole hour-and-a-half for a mega-sized @Midnight block from 11:30 to 1 am.]
TUESDAYS
American Horror Story: Cult FX (Returns September 5th) I don’t
like horror or Ryan Murphy but if you do here is this show that was designed
just for you.
How Much Dean is looking
forward to it: American Horror Story: Hotel
The Mindy Project Hulu (Returns September 12th) The
finale season of this show that I used to really like but stopped watching when
it moved to Hulu because Hulu is an unusable nightmare of a Web site. I’m not
paying for a subscription service with commercials, Hulu! Amazon doesn’t have
commercials *and* it gives me free shipping. At least try!
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: The Mindy Project Season 5
The Last O.G. Series Premiere TBS (Premieres October 22nd)
All I know about this show is that it was created by Jordan Peele and stars Tracy
Morgan. I don’t need to know anything else.
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: Get Out
[Have you watched Get Our or are you surreptitiously racially profiling your rating here? Either way, I interpret this as you are in support of this show.]
[Have you watched Get Our or are you surreptitiously racially profiling your rating here? Either way, I interpret this as you are in support of this show.]
Marvel’s Runaways Hulu (Premieres November 21st) If
we’re making Brian K. Vaughan comics into TV Shows I’d rather have Y: The Last
Man than The Runaways and Hulu remains a garbage dump of a streaming site.
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: Iron
Fist
[Oh. My. God. Brutal rating by Dean.]
[Oh. My. God. Brutal rating by Dean.]
WEDNESDAYS
You’re The Worst FXX (Returns September 6th) Despite what David
would have you believe--I am not the worst. Jimmy is the worst. Also this show
is good and you should watch it.
How
Much Dean is looking forward to it: Baskets Season 2
[I would have given this a rating of LOST Season 2. That means I am looking forward to this!]
South Park Comedy Central (Returns September 13th) This show has been on for 21 seasons. Giving details about this show is about as helpful as describing The Simpsons. You’ll either watch it or you won’t and I can’t sway your decision, I’m sure. I am pretty happy they’re not doing any Trump stuff though. Trump is un-parody-able. It’s never funny or clever and people should just accept that.
How
Much Dean is looking forward to it: The
Simpsons Season 7
Broad City Comedy Central (Returns September 13th) I
don’t know what to say about this show. I like it? I liked it a little less
last year than the year before? Both those things are true.
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: Kroll
Show Season 2
Mr. Robot USA (Returns October 11th) David, were you as
exhausted by Season 2 as I was? I still have not decided if I will check out
season 3. (Who are we kidding, the only show I’ve ever successfully quit is
Gotham.)
How Much Dean is looking
forward to it: Sleepy Hollow Season 3
[I definitely was exhausted by last season. Style an inscrutability overwhelmed clear storytelling. But I am willing to continue.]
[I definitely was exhausted by last season. Style an inscrutability overwhelmed clear storytelling. But I am willing to continue.]
Stan Against Evil IFC (Returns November 1st) John C. McGinley
fights demons from Hell. Your reaction to that log line tells you if you should
watch it or not.
How Much Dean is
looking forward to it: Scrubs Season 6
THURSDAYS
Better Things FX (Returns September 14th) Pamela Adlon
always freaks me out a little bit because Bobby Hill should not be a
middle-aged mom.
How Much Dean is
looking forward to it: Louie Season 2
[Please clarify your rating here. Is this Louie Season 2 BEFORE the season began or AFTER? That makes a lot of difference.]
[Please clarify your rating here. Is this Louie Season 2 BEFORE the season began or AFTER? That makes a lot of difference.]
She’s Gotta Have It Netflix (Premieres November 23rd) I’ve
never seen the original Spike Lee film, but here it is in TV form now--for some
reason.
How Much Dean is looking forward
to it: Do the Right Thing
FRIDAYS
One Mississippi Amazon (Returns September 8th) John
Rothman’s portrayal of Bill on this show was the best thing I saw last year
(rivaled only by Louis Anderson as Mama Baskets on Baskets). Tig Notaro has
created an incredible world that is funny and heartbreaking and I really cannot
wait to dive back in.
How Much Dean is
looking forward to it: Red Oaks Season 1
Bojack Horseman Netflix (Returns September 8th) It’s
everyone’s favorite cartoon about existential despair!
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: F is For Family Season 2
Transparent Amazon (Returns September 22nd) I found
every person in this show deeply unlikable so I’m not watching it, but I know
some people really like it so here’s when it comes back.
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: Dexter Season 5
Fuller House Netflix (Returns September 22nd) RIP Alan
Thicke.
How Much Dean is looking forward
to it: Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper
Tin Star Amazon (Premieres September 29th) Tim Roth was
also in Twin Peaks so he is very busy this year. Good for Tim Roth! I really
liked Legend of 1900. That was a good Tim Roth film.
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: The Bridge, Season 1
[I would not say that his work on Twin Peaks: The Return constitutes busy. He was on screen for a total of ten minutes. Now, for all I know, Lynch made him stay in an apartment for three months so he could call him on set for any random reason at any moment. But I don't think that put lots of burdens on his schedule?]
[I would not say that his work on Twin Peaks: The Return constitutes busy. He was on screen for a total of ten minutes. Now, for all I know, Lynch made him stay in an apartment for three months so he could call him on set for any random reason at any moment. But I don't think that put lots of burdens on his schedule?]
Mindhunter Netflix (Premiers October 13th) Everyone
loves serial killers and this show will have lots of them.
How Much Dean is looking forward to it: Hannibal, Season 1
Stranger Things Netflix (Returns October 27th) Everyone’s
favorite kids go back to the Upside Down in this, the only horror show I will
watch.
How Much Dean is looking forward
to it: Shaun of the Dead
Alias Grace Netflix (Premieres November 3rd) Netflix
cashes in on the Handmaid’s craze with a Margaret Atwood show of their own. I’m
going to go out on a limb and say we won’t have people dressing up in Irish
maid outfits to protest Congress.
How
Much Dean is looking forward to it: Peaky Blinders
SATURDAYS
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency BBC America (Returns October 14th)
As those who listened to my stunningdefense of Elijah Wood on The Sleeper Hit podcast (I’m sure this is all of
you. I am very good and funny and have a great voice so you should listen to
me.) know I like this show quite a bit. This show’s version of Dirk Gently is
not how I would have done it, but Elijah Wood nicely grounds the weirdness and
you should watch it. Look, it’s the only show that I have listed for Saturday
so it’s not even competing with anything.
How
Much Dean is looking forward to it: Wilfred, Season 2
[I enjoyed this show as well--and even your podcast--but it got a bit confusing at times. I am interested in what comes next, however.]
And . . . that’s it.
Every show on cable that might be good except the SyFy shows because I have no idea which SyFy shows are good or bad.
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