Monday, November 04, 2013

______ Days of Gratitude

It's a few days into November! And you know what that means . . .

Yep. All of Facebook is full up of people listing their thanks, their warm fuzzies, their moments of gratitude and secret thoughts for how great things are. And, really, that is great. I have lots of those things. The problem is . . . I'm keeping track of them . . . sort of . . . in a jar at my office desk (where I sorely need to be reminded of good things every now and then).

So I can't step all over the toes of THAT post, which will probably be written sometime in January 2014, when I sit down and review those slips of paper and then wonder why I have this huge hole of not noticing anything between June and (probably) December. (One may hope that I can proudly look on my ever progressing work project and say . . . oh, yeah . . . THAT THING.)

Still, who am I to pass up a good meme and force myself into doing some blogging. (Since I'm certainly NOT doing NaNoWriMo.)

So, now that I've let almost four days slip past me in this month of gratitude, I'll kick it off with this:

Item 1: I'm grateful that I am not living in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

If the worse happened, I'd end up like this little dude. (Credit:

Sure, it might feel that way . . . but trust me. We are NOT living through a zombie apocalypse right now. (And I should know, since I've read the Zombie Survival Guide, watched all episodes of The Walking Dead, and even played some zombie-themed board games.)

Because of this expertise, I can assure you that we are not currently experiencing the nightmare of relentless attacks from undead hordes. (Those are only the robo-calls for tomorrow's school board elections.)

If this WERE a zombie apocalypse, I wouldn't even be here. I would have bit the dust a LOOOOONG time ago. As my aforementioned research in this topic has shown me, I do not have the skills needed to fight off hordes of  walkers/skin-eaters/biters/what-have-yous. I would have twisted my ankle on day 4 and become some corpses' lunch before the weekend. No, I'm not equipped for such a catastrophe.

I know some techniques:
  • fill up an upstairs bathtub with drinking water
  • hide out with suitable weaponry on the second floor
  • destroy the staircase, because zombies can't climb
  • hope the horde moves on so that you can forage
 But its unlikely that you can rebuild a civilization upon such a flimsy structure.
I have no Scouting experience and I have proven many times over that I'm not much in the way of handiness. So . . . unless you need females to repopulate the planet or you need the occasional joke about LOST to get you through a tough day of fighting off the recently deceased . . . I'm just not your guy.

Sorry. . .

So, I'm happy THAT is not my problem today.

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