Sunday, September 13, 2015

Dean's Fall Cable TV Preview, 2015

It’s yet another edition of my Cable TV previews where I introduce all of the too-much TV that’s coming back or is brand new this year--that I care about.

This year I don’t care about Premium Cable, MTV, Lifetime, OWN, BET, VH1, or the Family Channels. You can’t make me care. I also didn’t include Netflix because I could find only 1 show premiering this fall (Narcos) and also I don’t have Netflix anymore. Also this year I asked the very funny and talented Good Cartoon Man to illustrate and he agreed, so now there are visuals!

[First, Dean . . . welcome back and thank you--as always--for lending your point of view to my TV previews. I always enjoy your thoughts on TV, even when we disagree. And I always enjoy the increased hit count when your many digifriends come over here to slum around in WWYG?! for a few minutes. (Please, Dean's friends, look at more content! I don't care!) BUT . . . NOT including Netflix shows in your Preview post? That is weak. Also, my oldest daughter will definitely have some words for you about not including Aziz Ansari's show Master of None (debuts 11/6, streaming). She loves that guy.

Not a good start.--DTM]


Fear the Walking Dead (AMC 9:00) Premiered August 23rd

So many people watched this premier so it’s silly for me to write about it. I don’t watch the Walking Dead shows because I don’t enjoy horror. However, I nearly made an exception to watch the exceptional Kim Dickens. Instead I began rewatching Deadwood. Deadwood is great.

The Walking Dead (AMC 9:00) Returns October 11th

Again, this show is so popular. You are probably watching it. It doesn’t have Kim Dickens so that is a point against it. Every show should have Kim Dickens.

[Every show? Really? So, Why? with Kim Dickens would be a good idea, then? Kim Dickens is . . . the Flash, perhaps? Or maybe she replaces Diggle on Arrow? Or . . . Kim Dickens is a zombie? Well, maybe give that last one a few weeks and we'll see. Then we'd TRULY never be able to get rid of her.]

Credit: Good Cartoon Man

Into the Badlands (AMC 10:00) Premiers November 15th

Into the Badlands is a genre-bending martial arts series very loosely based on the classic Chinese tale Journey to the West. In a land controlled by feudal barons, Into the Badlands tells the story of a great warrior and a young boy who embark on a journey across a dangerous land to find enlightenment. I stole that paragraph verbatim from AMCs Web site because I know nothing about this show. I’ve seen zero previews or anything. That paragraph makes it sound great though. Probably doesn’t star Kim Dickens, however. (This is my last reference to Ms. Dickens I promise.)

[You noted on Twitter a week ago that you should have mentioned here that Into the Badlands is by the Smallville guys. So, that is now taken care of. And I think I'll try this show at least for a few episodes to see if it lives up to that tag line.]


The Daily Show With Trevor Noah (Comedy Central 11:00) Returns/Premiers September 28th

My mother always said if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. I often ignore my mother’s advice. If you enjoy jerks condescending to you by saying things you already believe and then giving a “wry” smile you’ll probably enjoy Trevor Noah doing what John Stewart used to do. Or just watch John Oliver. Whatever, it’s all the same.

[I added the hyperlink, not Dean.]

Fargo (FX 10:PM) Returns Monday October 12th

Throw another shrimp on the Barbie, Fargo is back! Wait, sorry, wrong stereotypical saying. Fargo is about crime in the Upper Midwest dontcha know? This season has Kristen Dunst and Landry! I hope Landry doesn’t kill anyone. Stop killing people, Landry! We love you. Texas forever!

[Do you spell Barbie like the doll--with a capital B? Is that right? I was going to look that up, but then I got distracted by the mention of Kirsten Dunst. And I'm a pretty simple guy, okay?

Um . . . what was that about Landry?]


Drunk History (Comedy Central 10:30) Returned September 1st

*hic* So, thiz show, you see . . . this, this show. There’s a lot of co . . . comedians. And they tell a stor . . .they, they tell a story. But they . . . are . . . drunk. And John Hamm plays the other parts. John Hamm ish ver funny.

[John Hamm sometimes plays the other parts. Derek Waters plays all the parts. It's a fun show, for sure.]

The Bastard Executioner (FX 10:00) Premiers September 15th

Kurt Sutter will do his best to shock you with how extreme and edgy he is. The story will fall apart after 2 seasons, but the first two will probably be pretty great. I wish he would team up with Shawn Ryan again.

[But what is this show about, huh? Who is a bastard? Who is being executed? Are the executions being performed with a bastard sword? How many swings might that take? And . . . um . . . uh . . . oh, wow. Sorry. I was looking at Kirsten Dunst again.]

Manhattan (WGN America) Returns October 13th

This is a show that exists about the making of the atomic bomb. It is not set in Manhattan. They should have called it Manhattan Project because I think people are confused by the title. It is not as confusing as Humans being about robots and Mr. Robot being about humans, but it is still confusing. It is a good show, but not a great show so I probably should stop writing about it now.

Credit: Good Cartoon Man [If, for some reason you don't know what this is about . . . go here first and then search for the remix song.]

The League (FXX 10:00) Returns September 9th

If nothing else The League has brought the world the knowledge that Nick Kroll looks like he should be Jeff Goldblum’s son. Nick Kroll’s father is actually a billionaire corporate investigator. Not Jeff Goldblum unfortunately.

You’re the Worst (FXX 10:30) Returns September 9th

This was my favorite show of last year so of course they move it to the lesser known of FX Networks channels and premier it after Married, a show that it is far superior to. Watch You’re the Worst.

[I agree that You're the Worst is great. But isn't Married also featuring John Hodgman? Or am I mixing that up with another FX show? Or do you not like Hodgman because he has the stink of John Stewart all over him?]

South Park (Comedy Central 10:00) Returns September 16th

I say this every year, but much like The Simpsons, South Park is a dumb show to preview because it’s been on forever. Both have fallen from their peaks, but new South Park is better than new Simpsons.

Moonbeam City (Comedy Central 10:30) Premiers September 16th

Evidently this is a cartoon starring Rob Lowe and Elizabeth Banks that is a parody of Miami Vice. I know nothing about this so here is a cartoon of Rob Lowe by Good Cartoon Man. He wants you to know it’s a parody of the Direct TV commercials. He was concerned you wouldn’t get it.

Credit: Good Cartoon Man

American Horror Story: Hotel (FX 10:00) Returns October 7th

This season of America Horror Story has Lady Gaga. She will be defending the horrible ghosts or whatever of the hotel by telling people that they were born that way.

[Are you even trying to discuss the content of these shows? I think Good Cartoon Man's concept of good has infected your quality a bit. Everyone, I apologize for Dean's lack of substance and kindly request that you scroll back upward to take another look at Kirsten Dunst.]


Documentary Now! (IFC 10:00) Premiered August 20th

If you like documentaries, you’ll probably like Fred Armison and Bill Hader’s mockumentary series. If you don’t like documentaries you should probably stay away.

Nathan For You (Comedy Central 10:00) Returns October 15th

Nathan Fielder will save your struggling business by coming up with terrible ideas. If you like cringe comedy, this is one of the cringiest. (I mean it’s no The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret but thankfully, I doubt we’ll ever see its like again.)


Red Oaks (Amazon Prime) Premiers October 9th

I’m very excited about Red Oaks. Get Amazon Prime and watch Red Oaks. The pilot was very funny and now you can download all Amazon Prime shows to watch later, so if you’re in the car . . . you don’t have to use wireless data. Anyway, watch Red Oaks because it made me laugh and the world needs laughter.

[ . . . or gifs of kissing people . . .]

The Man in the High Castle (Amazon Prime) Premiers November 20th This is an Amazon Prime show that is not funny because it has Nazis. Everyone knows Nazis ceased to be funny after Hogan’s Heroes. [ . . . again, I added the link, assuming that not everyone who reads this blog is over 40 or might have a subscription to TV Land.] Also in this show, they won World War II and divided America in half and Japan rules the other half. The pilot for this was also very good. Anywhere, here is Good Cartoon Man and I should probably apologize for him now.

Credit: Good Cartoon Man

Transparent (Amazon Prime) Returns December 4th

I did not like this show because it was full of unlikeable people and that stressed me out. Many people did like it. If you watch one show about a transgender person, it should probably be this one and not Caitlin Jenner’s show. Reality TV is bad. Also Caitlin Jenner killed someone. I don’t think Jeffrey Tambor has killed anyone.

[Wait, for real? Who did Caitlin Jenner kill? Are you serious? I'm very confused and I guess I need to watch less TV and learn about the world. Well, damn. That is unfortunate.]


Football. Always Football. Every channel. Only football. Obey football.

Credit: Good Cartoon Man
[Whew. Thanks for a bit of light-heartedness to ease the tension Good Cartoon Man. I can always count on you to bring some humor to the important, tension-filled news of the day. 
And thank you Dean for guest blogging again. Anytime you've got something to say, please drop me some content. You always have a home here on WWYG?!]

And, since I put a lot of stuff about Kirsten Dunst kissing in this post, let me finish my interjections by saying that I don't want to assume that everyone who reads this is straight . . . so here are other gifs of love in action. ]

[Love is love, everybody! More television-related love is on its way in upcoming posts.]

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