I could take that as a sign that no one is interested in what I have to say, but then I would have to re-evaluate the last nine years of this blog's existence. And I'm not ready to do that tonight. So instead I will assume that these numbers indicate that what no one actually likes is NBC.
Moving on . . . tonight to The CW!
Sunday
On the first day of the week The CW offers "local programming." Honestly, I have no idea what that even means for my channel here in Columbus, much less what you might happen to get to choose from wherever you live. Perhaps it is wrestling. Perhaps it is community access stuff. Perhaps it is reruns of Star Trek: Voyager. Drop me a comment to tell me what is going on in your neck of the woods.
Monday
Do you know what Hart of Dixie (10/7 @ 8) is? According to a summary of what ended in season 2, the big question is "Will Zoe be back in BlueBell after her Manhattan summer when Dixie returns for season 3?" Because I am skilled in the interpretation of context clues, I will guess that BlueBell is the name of a southern town (hence Dixie) and that Zoe is a southerner who was trying to make it in New York and maybe got involved in a same-sex relationship with someone named Dixie. Yes. That is exactly what this show must be about.
You might not have ever watched that show, but you might have considered watching Beauty and the Beast (10/7 @ 9). I didn't consider it . . . because I've had many years of watching Kristen Kreuk on Smallville and don't think this so-called beast is all that disfigured. But if the producers are calling season 2 Beauty and the Beast 2.0 and the critics used such a modifier as "plagued" to describe elements of season 1 . . . I think I'll pass.
Local programming rears its mysterious head again on this night, starting at 10 pm. Perhaps this time it is a two-hour block of Wheel of Fortune?
Tuesday
The Originals (10/3 @ 9) is a spinoff of CW favorite The Vampire Diaries. This show involves vampires, werewolves, and witches in New Orleans. (And, apparently a vampire-werewolf hybrid?) If you don't have cable and really are interested in finding out what all the fuss was over True Blood, then I guess you can try this.
Speaking of CW favorites, here comes another season of Supernatural (10/8 @ 9). My daughter Sarah is really a fan of this show, but I've never given it a try. Perhaps, if she bothers to read this, she can post a comment below explaining why this show is any good. I suspect that if you like to read Cassie Claire's The Mortal Instruments book series, you're a fan of Supernatural. And that is fine. I'm here to only judge a little bit.
On Tuesday night, the local programming is most likely Frasier reruns.
Oh baby, I hear the blues a-callin'
tossed salad and scrambled eggs!
Oh my.
And maybe I seem a bit confused, but baby . . .
I got you pegged!
(Mercy.)
etc., etc.
Wednesday
Now, here we go CW! Here's some interesting stuff.
Arrow (10/9 @ 8) returns after its strong freshman debut with more superhero excitement. This show was pretty good for us dedicated Smallville watchers. And if you don't care about superheroes that much, you were guaranteed lots of images of Stephen Amell shirtless with his 12-pack abs. (I think the fans called that Olvier Queen's "quiver," but I could have also just made that up.)
Following Arrow is The Tomorrow People (10/9 @ 9). If you are of a certain age and genre disposition, you might remember that this show originally existed as a British, 70s era program. Its about high schoolers with mysterious powers such as telekinesis. My wife Lynda seems pretty excited for this remake because she's showing the kids YouTube videos and saying things like "jaunting." I am a bit interested because, well, why not? But also because Arrow star Stephen Amell is the big brother of THIS show's star, Robbie Amell. Now THAT is some creative programming.
Tonight's local programming is a full hour of Bob Ross painting lighthouses.
Thursday
Were you intrigued by what I wrote above regarding The Originals? Then you don't need me to tell you that The Vampire Diaries (10/3 @ 8) is starting its fifth season. And you probably already know who Nadia, Aaron, Jesse, and Silas are.
If you enjoy Arrow, but wish that it featured lots of embroidery and castles instead of abs, then you might want to find out more about Reign (10/17 @ 9). If you still don't know what this show is about, then what if I suggest that what you don't know about Mary Queen of Scot's angsty teen years is what is driving this show. I wish I could say that I came up with this descriptive quote--"It's like Gossip Girl, Game of Thrones, and Felicity in a blender." Wow.
Thursday night's local programming was going to be one hour's worth of Seinfeld reruns, but NBC discovered that if it ran the same Seinfeld reruns on Tuesday night at 10, it would outperform almost anything it is currently paying money for. So . . . no soup for you this night, CW!
Friday
I guess the CW believes that women really have nothing better to do on Friday nights . . . or that DVRs are put to much use on this night. Because it offers The Carrie Diaries (10/25 @ 8) and America's Next Top Model (???) during the coveted end-of-week prime time hours. Maybe the CW has data showing that there are a surprising number of females who have nothing better to do on Friday night than watch these shows. But where were these TV-watching ladies when I was a young and single man? I certainly would have had a better shot at these ladies back in the day than I might have had in a bar. Oh well.
The end of the work week's local programming is most likely just a montage of clips from the movie Office Space. I don't know which scenes you will get, but I'm hoping to get more of Jennifer Aniston and less of Lumbergh.
Saturday
I'm not even sure The CW broadcasts a signal on Saturday. Why don't you read some Douglas Adams?
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