Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Is it better to love and lost, than to never have loved at all?

I say yes.

Experiencing love is a difficult thing. It opens us up to enormous vulnerabilities. But at the same time, it opens us up to new sides of themselves that might never be realized without the challenge of love to push us in new directions and new perspectives.

If we never have the chance to love, we live in a world that is more selfish and more limited. While it is potentially hurtful and heartbreaking to experience love and either have it unreturned or to have it fade away, a person who has loved is no longer the same as they were before.

So, I say, push yourself. Acknowledge the possibility of more for yourself and the one you love. And don't be let fear of what might happen become so overwhelming that it precludes the chance to risk.

(Admittedly, this sounds super-great coming from secure, mature, 38-year-old me. Teenage me, college me would never, never, NEVER be so confident as to throw this down.)

But, really, that is part of what I'm talking about here. Those earlier, more scared, less mature, less loved versions of me are NOT who I am today. And it is age and love and relationship that have put me here.

I also realize that I am extremely lucky to have found someone to love that loves me back and that we don't disagree on important things--or at least when we disagree, we adjust what we think is important in service of that love. I haven't had my love go wrong. So, I guess I don't truly know what it means to have loved and lost.

But I do know that having loved successfully and seeing how it has changed me, I don't think I would want to miss out on that experience.

Anyway, that's my answer.

Thanks for asking.

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