Tuesday, November 20, 2007

He shall squeeze no more, forever

Last night's post about The Flintstones might be an appropriate way to segue into today's news that Dick Wilson (Mr. Whipple of "Don't squeeze the Charmin" fame) died at the age of 91.

What must it be like to be best known (to the nation, at least) as a guy obsessed with toilet paper? I am sure, to his family, friends, and community, he was much more than that. He probably grilled the best chicken on the block and gave out muffin baskets at Christmas, but we don't know that.

I would much rather see him patrolling the grocery store aisles than the cartoon bears that sell Charmin today. The pleasure they evidence when preparing to wipe their ursine butts with the super soft Charmin is not a pleasant reminder of what that product is all about.

Thanks Mr. Wilson. I won't squeeze, I promise.

(Anyway, I--as always--am sure Tom Cruise is behind this. But all I can say to Tom is . . . there are more effective ways to get Suri potty-trained.)

See also: The Orphanage of Cast-Off Mascots.