COV54D-19

Today was a challenging day. And that was due to my own internal reaction to the day. Outside forces stayed out of my way. But my own perception of everything around me set my own personal tone for this day and affected how I moved through it and how I responded to it. 

And that is a very important thing for me to think about, to acknowledge, and to understand.

Outside of myself, it was just a day. We got up. We ate. I worked. The kids worked. I kept an eye on what the kids were doing. I started some tasks. I participated in meetings. Nothing too difficult. All things I've done before and will do again.

But my perception of those things colored my experience. The assumptions that I made. The attitude that I carried with me. The inner life of me fought itself closer to the front and demanded to push me in directions. And helped set my tone throughout the day. And told me how I should feel about it all. Not because of how all of those things objectively were. But how that part of me thought I should perceive them and how I should about them.

I'm psychoanalyzing myself here for all of you to enjoy (?), so I hope any part of this might be universalized for your own use sometime in your future. Otherwise, I should've just typed it out on the screen and saved it for a folder marked PRIVATE.

But that is not how blogging works, I guess. Or at least not how I'm choosing to work it today.

There have been times in the past fifteen years when I've publically blogged about stuff that I probably should have dumped in a PRIVATE folder. One particular moment comes to mind several years ago when the kids were much smaller and I was struggling as a parent. I wrote some things and published them and got asked some questions. All well-meaning interactions. But I took the post down and a part of me said that I should keep some parts of my dirty laundry to my own basement and not feel free to just hang it out for everyone to see it dry.

And when I've done things similar to that in recent years (or even today), I have tried to keep it general and vague. (Really good writing technique, to be general and vague. But I quit trying to chase clickbait a long time ago here at WWYG?! studios, so I'm just doing it for myself now.)

This is the sort of post that won't make any sense in five minutes, much less five months from now. But I felt the need to drop a few lines down and to remind myself that how I am is MY responsibility.

And I have.