Sunday, March 14, 2010

Is there an age at which things get easier?

The answer to this question is going to be extremely subjective. Because, as years of watching "Alias" have taught me, every person has a different tolerance for pain and difficulty. So, the age at which things get easier for me will likely be a different age than when it gets easier for you.

But that doesn't mean that we can't try to think about the things that cause conflict and make life more difficult.

I find that I respond well when there are predictable things in my life, things that I can rely upon. A daily routine helps me keep the ever-changing world in a format that I can manage. And it helps me succeed. Now, there are always going to be days and circumstances that cause things to spin out of routine. But if you are grounded in things that make sense, you are better able to handle those (inescapable) moments when things aren't as you expect.

So, if you examine my particular life, you can see that I have a pretty stable routine of getting the kids up and ready for school, getting myself to work, performing my daily work expectations, coming home, getting everyone fed, getting the youngs ones to bed, and then relaxing for myself at the end of the day. That is a very simple description of how most of my days go. And this helps me accomplish the many obligations that I have. On the weekend I also do things like laundry, lawn care (when the grass is growing), and church on Sunday.

But there is a lot more to it than that. Right now I'm also going to a Lenten book study at church once a week. And I've been helping with Sunday school for the last month. (So that means I've got extra time to build in for preparing for the lessons.) And I must always be ready to drop it all to help if the kids are sick or simply if they want to play.

Now, I can do all of this because I am extremely lucky. I have a secure income and can pay for child care, which frees me up to work in an office. I have reliable help from my wife and my kids are very good (most of the time) and do what I ask them to do. So many people would absolutely LOVE to have my life, even though you might call it boring and predictable, stale and unimaginative. But because I have all of the advantages that I do, I have the leisure time to sit down right now and write this answer. I can blog when I want and engage my imagination in that way. I've found my own way to define who I am and and guide myself through my life. And for now, it works.

But I am also aware that what is now easy will change when I'm not ready for it. As my kids get older they become more challenging and things will certainly grow increasingly difficult. But I will take a breath and accept the change. Because I've committed myself to this life and it make me who I am.

So, I think things get easier when you discover who you are, who you are meant to be. And then you construct your life to help you be the best version of that person that you can be. I am a family man, a father, and a husband. I go to church and try to be helpful there as best I can. I try to do a good job at work and act as a friend to people. That is who I think I am, in very broad terms. And my life allows me to do that in the best way that I can.

So, figure out who YOU are and then perhaps you will see how to make your life easier.

I hope that helps and thanks for asking.

(If you want to ask me a question, please click on the FAQ tab at the top of this blog and use the form to submit your question. Or you can use the link below.)

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