Wednesday, January 14, 2009

CRUIIIIIISSSEE!!!!!!!

Richard Montelban died on Wednesday.

Fans of Fantasy Island and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan are sad today . . . as are, of course Montelban's family, friends, and colleagues.

Why did Tom Cruise break his winter hibernation to strike down the man behind Khan Noonien Singh and the voice of Kim Possible's Senor Senior, Sr.? Well, I believe it was because of Tropic Thunder.

You see, in Tropic Thunder, Cruise received rave reviews for his energetic and vulgar portrayal of movie studio executive producer Les Grossman. Cruise was so pleased by this outpouring of Hollywood happiness.

But then came the lukewarm acceptance of Valkyrie, Cruise's holiday Nazi flick. (Because nothing says Happy Holidays like Good Nazis trying to eradicate Hitler.) Cruise was angry that his latest Kampf was NOT so well received.

And so he slipped into his murderous fugue state, which in this case hearkened back to his most recent successful part--studio executive.

And what movie studio released Tropic Thunder?

Why, the same studio that released Montelban's signature role as genetics overlord/Kirk-bane, Paramount Pictures.

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