Monday, September 12, 2022

Football Counter-Programming 2022 Week 2: Better Late Than Never Edition

 Yes, I know that the season is already well under way. And yes, I know that may significant things have already happened. (Or at least I would know this if I watched College Football. But since the premise of these posts is that I don't . . . and I don't want you to either . . . then maybe I don't actually know that?)

(Christopher Nolan--call me. I've available to pitch similarly knotty ideas to you for future movie treatments.)

ANYWAY . . . what are you doing watching College Football!? Don't you have better things to do on Saturday?


I don't know how old any of you are. Because I don't know who actually reads these things. If I had to guess I'd say that most of you are middle age. Not because the middle-age demographic is most likely to stop watching College Football, bur rather because most of the friends, acquaintances, and family I know (who are most likely to see and consider reading this) are also middle-aged.

Given this, I think you might relate . . .

Most of the time when I look in the mirror I see what I've always seen. Me. 

(Obviously. . . . Still waiting on the jump scare scenario when I look up from the sink and see a phantom or ghost or something similarly unexpected standing behind me.) 

But it's always me. And generally I look the same. My haircut has been largely unchanged for quite a while now. I haven't acquired any strange or disfiguring facial scars in recent years. No replacement robot eyes. 

So, yeah. Mostly the same old thing.

But . . . every once in a while I look a bit deeper. And I notice that I'm looking older. I haven't been young for a while now. Heck, I'm almost 51 years old! But usually I just take a surface look and my brain fills in the gaps as it has for decades. Sometimes a bit thicker in the cheeks that a month ago. Occasionally looking a bit thinner, depending on my food patterns. But the eyes and the eyebrows, the nose and the chin and the hair and the ears are all there.

But sometimes I just look older. As old as I'm supposed to be. But it still sometimes strikes me that I'm getting older all the time and I am looking like it. My brain can sometimes trick me into thinking I'm still largely unchanged from who I've always thought myself to be. But my back and my legs and my muscles know better. And they tell me so often. And then my vision catches up in these bathroom mirror moments.

What to do about it? Nothing at all. Just an observation and a reason to sit down and type and bit and begin anew my promise of every year finding ways to distract you from spending your hard-earned weekend time watching College Football.

So, live your life. Use your time wisely this week. And don't party TOO hard when you inevitably watch College Football anyway and decide to celebrate because your Alma Mater got paid over $1 million dollars to defeat a Power 5 school. 

(Don't know what I'm talking about? Congratulations! You avoided College Football this past week. I'm proud of you.)

No comments: