COV264D-19: Football Counter-Programming B1G Week 5

These days it feels like I am creating anxiety on a daily basis and that I am always waiting for the next shoe to drop.

There are the obvious health conditions in the country, as well as the political state of the country that are contributing to this inner turmoil. But I am also beset by worried of work and personal professional performance.

Why am I always ruining my daily life with expectations of perfection? What does that get me? How can I do good, quality work that isn't driven by a fear of mistakes. And when mistakes happen, how do I accept that failing in myself and truly (TRULY!) incorporate it as something to learn from and get better at rather than turning it into some sort of goad?

When will I learn to trust my ability and just keep doing the work that I have proven I know how to do pretty well?

You have no answer to this and you didn't come to this blog today to serve as my therapist.

***

In other news . . . Sarah hit a young buck deer on her way to work yesterday afternoon. Most luckily, she was unharmed, but half of her windshield was badly broken and part of her roof dented as well, plus a broken headlight and a misaligned panel on the side of the car. A significant accident and we are still waiting to hear what insurance will say about the state of the car.

She was only a few miles away from the house when it happened, near where a friend of mine lives. I quickly headed off to see how I could help. (So quickly that I neglected to grab a mask on my way out the door, which I realized when I was halfway there. But I didn't turn around because I was mostly concerned about getting to Sarah quickly.)

When I arrived, a man from across the road was checking to see if Sarah was alright. He was leaving as I walked up. I spoke to Sarah to see that she was physically fine and holding up emotionally. .Then I noticed that I had pulled the car along the side of the roadway very close to where the deer had come to rest. (And I had not even noticed it when I parked.) While Sarah and I were beside her car and some yards from the deer, I could see that it was still, but not dead. It was resting in a runoff ditch, beside the entrance to the neighborhood near the main road.

As Sarah and I talked, the first policeman arrived. (Sarah had already called the police while I was arriving.) He came out of his car carrying a rifle, ready to put down the deer. The officer asked Sarah and I to move away from our cars and away from the deer. We turned away and I braced for the sound. It was pretty loud but luckily he only shot once. 

Once he put the deer down, he approached and I was surprised when he asked if we had plans to keep the deer. (Grace later informed me that it is Ohio law that in these types of accidents, the person involved has a right to keep the deer if they wish.) But we had no desire to keep the meat or a way to keep it, transport it, butcher it . . . whatever. So we declined. He quickly asked if he could take it, as he could butcher it for meat. I was happy to let him have it, but that was the last part of this incident that I was mentally prepared or expecting to have at that moment. Mostly I was worried about Sarah's emotional state and the sound of the gun and didn't want her to be bothered with more thoughts of the deer that she had hit.

Once that was all over, we got down to the quotidian business of clearing out the accident. Sarah used her insurance app on her phone to contact a tow truck. 

While we waited for the tow, I made a quick call to my friend who lived nearby and asked him if he could bring me one of his masks. I was increasingly self-conscious about talking to police and whomever else might arrive with no protection on me. He quickly arrived and helped save the day. He caught up for a few minutes while Sarah sat in my car and rested. He left a few minutes later. It is good to have friends!

Lynda called to see how things were progressing. She decided to come and let Sarah borrow Grace's car so that Sarah could proceed ahead to her job and hopefully occupy her mind with other things. Lynda and I stayed with the accident to report it to insurance, and get that machinery going.

Eventually the tow truck arrived and we completed the claims report for insurance. We headed back home to complete our day and wait for next steps. Sarah got home to us from work that evening and we are all safe again together.

It was an unusual afternoon--to be sure. But nothing more than machinery and a deer were hurt. I'm glad enough for that.

Back to the normal anxieties once again.