Sunday, March 30, 2014

Part 2 of Dean's Ridiculously Long GoT Overview

If you liked what you read in Part I, how about some more of the same in Part II?

Art credit:

Robert Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm
Status: Dead, gored by a boar after being  purposefully over served wine by his squire Lancel Lannister
Why he matters: His friendship with Eddard Stark brings the Starks King’s Landing. His death kicks off the War of Five Kings. His “son” is a monster.

Renly Baratheon, youngest of the Baratheons, pretender to the throne of Westeros.
Status: Dead, killed by Melisandre’s shadow monster.
Why he matters: The most charismatic of the claimants to the throne, Renly was able to raise a large army that may have been a serious threat to King Joffrey’s rule. Unfortunately for Renly magic has returned to the realm and there is no way to defend yourself from a shadow monster.

Stannis Baratheon, oldest of the Baratheons, rightful claimant to the throne of Westeros.
Status: Alive! On his way to the Wall
Why he matters: Stannis is a black hole of charisma and commands no loyalty from any major lords, but does have the respect of both Melissandre and Ser Davos Seaworth. He shows that even with a God, magic, and the law of the realm on your side doesn’t mean that you will win. Also now that he’s going North the events at the Wall will be better tied into the War of the Five Kings.

Selyse Florent
Status: Alive! Being creepy in Dragonstone
Why she matters: Hey Stannis’s wife knows what he is doing with Melissandre and is OK with it, because Stannis’s wife is creepy. Also she hates Davos so she is terrible.

Shireen Baratheon, daughter of Stannis Baratheon and Selyse Florent
Status: Alive! In Dragonstone
Why she matters: Now we know what greyscale is. Also, she helps Ser Davos learn to read which leads to him realizing the White Walkers are the true threat, not Joffrey Baratheon.

Salladhor Saan, pirate-lord of Lys
Status: Alive, pirating it up but not for Stannis
Why he matters: Stannis commands so few troops he must rely on foreign sell-swords. Also Saan saves Ser Davos from death on the rocks. Saan is great.

Gendry, bastard son of Robert Baratheon
Status: Alive! On his way to King’s Landing via rowboat.
Why he matters:  He might have the most valid claim to the throne as the only remaining child of Robert Baratheon. He also shows the continuing awesomeness of Ser Davos Seaworth when Davos saves him from Melisandre’s plan to sacrifice him to the Red God.

Melisandre, priestess of R’hllor
Status: Alive! On her way to the Wall.
Why she matters: Her spells have taken out one of the five kings directly and claims they had a hand in the downfall of Robb Stark. She is willing to go to great lengths to have Stannis crowned king of Westeros. She is often at loggerheads with Ser Davos Seaworth who is awesome, but not magical.

Various Bastards of Robert Baratheon, bastards
Status: Dead, on the orders of Joffrey Baratheon
Why they matter: Joffrey is still the worst, look at all those dead babies.

Ser Davos Seaworth, commonborn lord of Stannis Baratheon
Status: Alive! On his way to the Wall with Melisandre and Stannis Baratheon
Why he matters: Whereas Stannis is a black hole of charisma, Davos is extremely charismatic and his actions are noble. He’s a smarter Eddard Stark since at least he knows the game is rigged. He’s the only one who gets the audience not to just hope Danarys Targaryen comes in and burns all of the Lords of Westeros to the ground.

Ser Robar Royce, Kingsguard of Renly Baratheon
Status: Dead. Killed by Brienne of Tarth in self-defense after the death of Renly Baratheon
Why he matters: Don’t mess with Brienne.

Ser Emmon Cuy, Kingsguard of Renly Baratheon
Staus: Dead. Killed by Brienne of Tarth in self-defense after the death of Renly Baratheon
Why he matters: Don’t mess with Brienne.

Cressen, Maester of Stannis Baratheon
Status: Dead. Poisoned himself.
Why he matters: Don’t mess with Melissandre. This Lord of Light fellow might just be something.

Matthos Seaworth, son of Ser Davos Seaworth
Status: Dead, killed at the Battle of Blackwater
Why he matters: We all want Tyrion to succeed but not at the expense of Davos, but you can’t get everything you want.

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