Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Dean's Fall Cable + Streaming TV Preview

Welcome back to another series of Fall TV thoughts--now in its fourteenth year.

It feels like things are off to a very, very late start this year . . . and that feeling is almost certainly 100 % correct. But--well--I can't do anything about that because all of the Time Turners were destroyed in the Department of Mysteries back in 1996.

So, we just have to move on the best we can. And the best way to begin to stop the grieving process is to rely on my friend and reliable guest blogger Dean. He has put in the work and has kindly provided me with the start of this season's Fall TV Previews, focusing on Cable and Steaming shows. Please ignore the fact that almost all of this has already begun and the word Preview is being used as a sort of brand convention rather than as an actual descriptor of timeliness. --David

There’s a lot of TV so here’s the deal.

I’m not listing most of the streaming shows because there are a billion of them and streaming shows are ultimately pretty disposable because everyone watches them at a different pace and it’s impossible to talk about them with other people.

I also won’t mention late night shows because, my God people, how many of these shows can you people watch? *Stares seriously at camera* Trump is bad. *Everyone cheers*

Also . . . reality shows won’t be listed here, as they are not my particular cup of tea. Finally, most of these have already started airing so this is too late to be useful to you. Sorry. [Don't worry Dean, I've already apologized for you.--DTM]

Venture Brothers Adult Swim (Currently Airing) As we all remember, last season on the Venture Brothers…uh…Brock Sampson…uh does something. OK--wait . . . the Monarch and Doctor…Girlfriend? No, wait, Mrs. Doctor Girlfriend? Mrs. Doctor Wife? Crap! I have no idea what happened. It was so long ago. This show is never on, but now it’s back! One of the characters is named Dean which is great!

Better Call Saul AMC (Currently Airing) When Jimmy finally goes full Saul it will break my heart. If you liked Breaking Bad you have no excuse not to watch this. If you didn’t like Breaking Bad because of the violence, this show is much less violent so you have no excuse! Plus this show is better than Breaking Bad either way. [I love this show and one of the main reasons why is because it is universally praised and it CONSISTENTLY features almost fifteen minutes of silence per episode. The script writing for this show must be a fucking BREEZE.--DTM]

Wrecked TBS (Currently Airing) The first season of this “Lost but a comedy series” was really good and I think you’ll like it. This is the best TBS comedy since My Boys. (That may not be true, I just wanted to plug My Boys and demand more work for Jordana Spiro.) [Please also try to find room in your heart--and space on your DVR--for the other TBS show "Search Party." Season 2 of SP was good, I promise!--DTM]

Ballers HBO (Currently Airing) Do you wish Entourage was still on but starred the Rock? Well, I have some good news for you!

Insecure HBO (Currently Airing) Everyone says this show is great but I have to take their word for it as I did not have HBO when the previous seasons of this show aired.

Crime + Punishment Netflix (Available for Streaming) I love this novel--so why not watch this?
. . . *actually checks listing*
OK, so this is, in fact, an award-winning documentary about corrupt and racist NYPD cops--not the seminal novel by Fyodor Dostoevsky? Please, Netflix, greenlight a Dostoyevsky series! You’re throwing money away not airing the Brothers Karamazov. It could be the next Downton Abbey!

Ozark Netflix (Available for Streaming) Jordana Spiro is in this and no one told me. I hate my friends.

Jack Ryan Amazon (Available for Streaming) Fact: John Krasinski is the best actor to have ever played the role of Jack Ryan.

Mayans M.C. FX (Currently Airing) I would like Kurt Sutter-helmed shows more if there was someone around to tell him no. An hour of Kurt Sutter per week is fine. Two hours of Kurt Sutter per week is too much. Unsurprisingly, Sutter's wife shows up in the first episode. (Katey Sagal is great so this is not a complaint.)

The Purge USA (Currently Airing) If I could do crime one night a year it would definitely not be murder. I felt bad about ripping tags off of mattresses for like a year, so no murder for me. I would probably just jaywalk a lot.

Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia FXX (Currently Airing) Despite Glenn Howerton’s commitments on AP Bio he has made time to join the gang as they drag every person they encounter down to their level.

Iron Fist Netflix (Available for Streaming) You can’t make me watch this. [Don't worry. I'll keep you well informed . . . as soon as I get around to finishing it.--DTM]

FLCL Alternative Adult Swim (Currently Airing) The horn is a metaphor for obviousness.

The Deuce HBO (Currently Airing) If you watch this and you have children, just be warned that they will come down at the worst possible moment and you will pause the TV at the worst possible second.

Kidding Showtime (Currently Airing) Jim Carrey should work on his painting because I have no use for him as an actor. [Look, I'm not here to try and convince you the Jim Carrey is Olivier or Brando. But Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Truman Show are really good movies. Maybe that is despite Jim Carrey. But I don't think people would have paid attention to them otherwise. And the world is better with these entertainments in it. Is the world better for having Kidding in it also? Still too early to say, but I am watching. My only direct criticism so far is the overreliance on sexuality in a few spots. But that is, I suppose, the price of doing business on premium cable.--DTM]

Shameless Showtime (Currently Airing) How is this show still going on? This is the Simpsons of prestige cable dramedies.

American Horror Story: Apocalypse FX (Currently Airing) Ryan Murphy takes on Marvel’s greatest villain. [That's an AHS I would consider watching. Otherwise, nope.--DTM]

Snatch Crackle (Currently Airing) Did you know there was a TV version of Guy Ritchie’s film Snatch? I did not. I also don’t know what Crackle is so good luck finding the 2nd season of this show.

American Vandal Netflix (Available for Streaming) If you liked Serial, you’ll love this spoof of Serial that is somehow also an incisive look at the ethics of these kinds of podcasts. [I am VERY excited to begin watching AV s2 very soon!--DTM]

BoJack Horseman Netflix (Available for Streaming) I do not like this show but am also happy that Will Arnett finally has a successful leading role.

Norm Macdonald Has a Show Netflix (Available for Streaming) Norm Macdonald hosts a talk show where he doesn’t talk about current events. To demonstrate why he wouldn’t talk about current events, he immediately offended everyone with his #MeToo comments and then his apology made things worse. There is no doubt that he did it on purpose. [I have never had any time for Macdonald's style of humor or his point of view. And I don't even know the particulars of this latest SNAFU.--DTM]

The Good Cop Netflix (Available for Streaming) I’m only mentioning this show because my SEO advisor says a mention of Josh Groban will get at least one more click than otherwise would have been the case. Tony Danza is there too.

Maniac Netflix (Available for Streaming) Cary Fukunaga is a fantastic director and Emma Stone is a fantastic actress so this should be good! (Jonah Hill is also there.) [This is one of the reasons why I haven't finished Luke Cage, Iron Fist, or started American Vandal. So far I have enjoyed the first two episodes. But someone remind me who Fukunaga is. Is he the guy that is going to be directing the next series of Bond movies? He's NOT the same guy who directs Atlanta, right? Why am I getting this mixed up.--DTM]

Mr. Inbetween FX (September 25th) I know nothing about this show but I watch pretty much anything on FX so I’ll be watching this. This sounds like a cry for help, and to be honest, it probably is.

South Park Comedy Central (September 26th) Someday someone is going to dig up a past episode of South Park to try and kill Matt and Trey’s career--James Gunn style. And I’m 50/50 on whether that will end up working.

God Friended Me CBS (September 30th) I’m crowding in on David’s turf just to say this is the worst named show since Selfie. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this show will not be as good as Selfie was. [Hold on . . . first, now you're just forcing me to have to evaluate this likely terrible show when I write my own post. Damnit. And secondly . . . was Selfie the show with my beloved Karen Gillan? Because if not, I have no memory of Selfie at all.--DTM] 

Doctor Who BBC America (October 6th) The doctor is . . . a woman!? Really looking forward to all the articles highlighting the same three outraged tweets from accounts with 50 total followers. Never gets old.

Daredevil Netflix (October 19th) Everyone’s favorite visually-impaired superhero is back soothing his Catholic guilt by getting beaten to a pulp before overcoming the odds to save Hells Kitchen yet again. [Well, when you describe it like that . . . --DTM]

DuckTales Disney Channel (October 20th) Woo ooh! [Tried it last year. Pass.--DTM]

The Guest Room TBS (October 23rd) This charming show introduced me to honeyhoney and I really enjoy them. Listen to honeyhoney because they’re great.

Deutschland 86 Sundance TV (October 25th) Deutschland 83 was about a reluctant East German spy struggling to fulfill his duties while slowly embracing life in the West. I assume Deutschland 86 is about that but set 3 years later! (Deutschland 83 was excellent and now that The Americans is over you know you need a good spy show.) [I've not seen Deutschland of any year. But I would recommend Starz Counterpart as a good spy show witha fun sci-fi twist. True . . . I've still not finished watching season one on my DVR. But I KNOW that the J.K. Simmons-led drama is definitely my tempo.--DTM]

House of Cards Netflix (November 2nd) Kevin Spacey is dead now and Princess Buttercup is here to do whatever it is that happens on this show that people in Washington love because they think it flatters them somehow.

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs Netflix (November 16th) The Cohen Brothers are making a Netflix show and I couldn’t be happier. Everything they touch is great except for The Ladykillers and Burn After Reading. Those were not good.

Watership Down Netflix (December 25th) Really excited for this show to traumatize a whole new generation of children with fields of blood. [Nothing says Happy Christmas like a bloody, enraged General Woundwort! I'm totally ready for this show! --DTM]