Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Entry that is apropos of nothing

I feel like crap today--have a cold since yesterday and probably running a small fever (or maybe that is just the 95+ temperature and the humidity.

Anyway . . . why can't I relax? On the surface it looks like my work project is rolling along and everything seems to be on schedule.

But I can't trust the dates and the papers that I look at every day, trying to discern if I am missing something. I have convinced myself that I will miss something and soon . . . VERY soon, it will all become clear to me and everything will crack and crash down on top of me.

(deep breath)

Seriously, what is wrong with me?

I used to habitually worry about stuff like this a lot. So much so that my parents had me talk to a counselor/psychiatrist when I was in high school. He was a very genial sort of guy and we spend our weekly sessions just talking about my week. I don't for the life of me remember what we did to make me better. No breathing techniques or meditative postures or anything.

And while I worry, so many people do, right? It's not exactly uncommon in our stressful, job-centric culture. But why can't I just let go and take the day as it comes?

*****
Happy birthday to Jack Thunder. We had a nice lunch with him at semi-local Middle Eastern eatery. Every time I go there, I say to myself "I should eat here more often . . . or this food more often." But it would be hard to convince Ariel and Ruth to try the Shawarma, and Tegan and I don't go out on dates NEARLY enough.
So, back to work. Gotta keep an eye out for that creeping disaster. I am sure it is just around that corner over there.

3 comments:

lulu said...

Hmmmm. I'm sure your status as King Copyright is the source of much of your stress. It IS stressful to be the one in charge. So I will be helpful and set you at ease with these wise words:
You WILL forget something. We ALL forget something. BUT . . . the project will get done, and people will be pleased with your performance. So try to relax a bit--if They have enough faith in you to put you in charge of these earth-shattering projects, they've seen the potential in you to do it. If it's a jerk-off project and they put you in charge out of desperation or disinterest, then it doesn't matter if you foul it all up.

Which you won't.

Lately I've been having similar anxiety issues. I told some wiser co-workers who asked me how the new job was going that I feel insecure about my position and wonder why I have it. One of these wise people said that she felt the exact same way upon receiving her Power and that, from what she's heard, people have faith in me as they did in her, and you/I just need to ease up. Experience and expertise come over time, and through the making of--in the end--inconsequential and COMMON mistakes.

We all know you can do it, Burb. All teasing aside, people see you as a good and conscientious worker, a bright guy, a sensitive husband, and a wonderful, caring father.

Burb said...

Yeah, it's true . . . I DO rock!

But I just need to have people make a podcast where they say nothing but nice things about me so I can go around all day listening to constant streams of positive reinforcement for my stupid juvenile worrisome mind.

Thanks Lu . . .

Sven Golly said...

On the other hand, it might just be the phase of the moon, the biorhythmic groove you're in, or visitors from the planet Zaftig. I know I've been a little off lately (insert cheap shot here...), losing my glasses, misplacing page one of a manuscript, pain in the right piriformis, etc. My advice: blame it on the person in the next cube.