Tuesday, November 22, 2005

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this is an audio post - click to play


David said...

Does it make it more frustrating/less frustrating/no difference at all that the person I was talking to prior to this audio post was one of my brothers?

I don't know.

Nor do i know why I didn't mention that when recording.

Sven Golly said...

As a fellow sufferer, I can relate to your condition. The telephonically challenged seem to rely on visual and kinesthetic cues to have a real convesation, things like eye-contact, gestures, body-language. When I talk to my brother on the phone - a rare occurrence - there tend to be long pauses. . . . Which reminds me, I should call him, or better yet, write a letter.

Jack Thunder said...

great. now is it going to be awkward talking to you on the phone . . . . like it is now awkward urinating next to you in the restroom because of ...that one time?

but don't worry, neither of us likes to talk on the phone. i don't expect any problems.

actually, i've found that i'm a little bit better talking on the phone than i am talking face-to-face. there is a bit of anonymity with being on the phone. i sometimes use different voices. nothing terribly accented, just different tones and language which i think the occasions call for. my calling-the-Dept.-of-Taxation voice is different from my calling-the-auto-shop voice.*

infact, i'm much more likely to say "y'all" on the phone than in person. which makes me think of your home answering machine message and your recessive, mild Southern accent. intentional or not? who are you trying to fool? or are you being your true self?

important questions.

but i'm with Sven: i'm a fan of letters and email.

*did i mention that this practice doesn't seem to yield any benefits? i think this stupid country is very class-structured but not terribly class-conscious (what a retarded combination, i think). this means that my FDR voice doesn't work too well when i call someone official, and my down-home voice doesn't do anything when i call the garage or the maintenance guy. am i class-profiling or just being pragmatic? and are these phone answerers being democratic and egalitarian by not noticing or are they being oblivious of others and therefore self-centered? more important questions......

David said...

Well, Jack . . . your first paragraph demands an explanation (to forstall any rumor-mongeriing). Though, describing it seems to violate one of the male rules of public bathrooms. The most important rule being, you don't speak (even to your best friend, brother, or father) until you are done with your business and are safely at the sink. But anyway . . .

In the work lavatory there are four urinals. The one on the far left is designated for short people, visiting children, or possibly midgets.

Once I chose poorly, selecting the third urinal from the left--or second from the right if you prefer. Jack (when he was still working here) came in and could do one of the following: choose the "short" urinal, thereby emasculating himself or pick one of the two remaining urinals, but standing beside me.

Neither of these options is preferable for any self-respecting man, but I had given him no choice. He later, correctly, urbraided me. If there are others already occupying one of the urinals, you have to do what you have to do, but if they are all free, manly courtesy dictates that you select either the second urinal from the left, effectively eliminating the short one, or going to the one on the far right, allowing the next visitor to select the second one from the left, beside the short one and maintaining the void between visitor #1 and visitor #2.

Got it?