Q: Notwithstanding his association with the "Prince of Persia" flick, what's your beef with Jake Gyllenhaal? And, if I may, do you dislike Maggie Gyllenhaal?

Ed. note: Years ago, I experimented with the Formspring webpage as a way of collecting questions and providing answers. (Sort of a protoReddit AMA . . . not that I've ever gotten into Reddit.) Here is an old one from late May 2010 that brings back fond memories and, to be frank, I like the way I constructed my answer.

A: I'm jumping out of order on this one . . . AND I'm answering more than one in a day. (My "Blogging for Success" book says you have to develop a relationship with your readers . . . so I am accommodating YOU, trustworthy questioner!)

So . . . what is my beef with Mr. Gyllenhaal? Well, mostly it stems from his constant comparisons to Tobey Maguire back ten years ago. At the time they were both up-and-coming young actors. Both has large doe-y eyes. And they both a.) were supposedly in the running for Spiderman and b.) dating Kristen Dunst.

(So much so that when Maguire was rumored to be out of the Peter Parker role for Spiderman 2, there was strong opinions that Gyllenhaal would step right in.)

Andbutso, the point is, I've always thought Maguire was the better actor. I first loved him in Pleasantville, and really, really loved Spiderman and especially Spiderman 2. And I liked The Ice Storm and thought he did a fine job in Seabuscuit. Meanwhile, Gyllenhaal was in stuff like The Day After Tomorrow, etc. (Though I really did enjoy Donnie Darko.)

And there were always these persistent rumors that Maguire was a bit pretentious and a bit Too Much. But at least he never had The Bubble Boy on his resume.

So, while I was in the throes of my love for Spiderman and Spiderman 2, I became (willingly) associated around my office friends as a lover of all things Tobey. And to help bolster that definition, I sort of adopted a (kind of irrational) dislike of all things Gyllenhaal. And it helped that another of my work friends was willing to play along and support Gyllenhaal in opposition to me.

But that has mostly died off at this point. If pressed, I'd say that Tobey deserves an Academy Award before Gyllenhaal's pecs get nominated for one. But I'm willing to live and let live as I get older.

*****

As to Maggie, I don't dislike her at all. I enjoyed her just fine in The Dark Knight, squirmed my way through two-thirds of Secretary, didn't realize she was in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, need to watch Donnie Darko again, and keep getting her mixed up in my head with Zooey Deschanel.

But, no. I have no beef whatsoever with Maggie Gyllenhaal.

So, there's my answer.

Thanks for asking.

Book Review--"There's Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension" by Hanif Abdurraqib

 At Christmas, I was gifted There's Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Abdurraqib. And I finally finished my slow perusal of it over the weekend. I sat on the porch, taking advantage of sunny days, no rain (for once in this last month of time!), and pleasant temperatures, to get focused and finish. 

And I'm glad that I did.

I've heard of Abdurraqib and was aware that he lived in Columbus (hence the image) and wrote about Columbus. So, being home-proud, I wanted to try him out. I haven't read his poetry yet but this prose work definitely worked for me.

It weaves two stories into a strong braid: his own life growing up Black in Columbus--loving the city, playing basketball on neighborhood courts, celebrating local basketball talent. It doesn't flinch from the hardships he saw, he experienced, he overcame. He sympathizes with the desire of many of his friends and neighbors to leave Columbus--to get away from its racial challenges and to hope for some better opportunity elsewhere. But he also embraces his own love for Columbus and the pull it has on him--flaws and all. Can he overcome his personal challenges to find a strong foundation in his hometown?

The second story strand observes Lebron James Ohio basketball story. From his foretold greatness playing prep school basketball in northeast Ohio, to the Cleveland Cavaliers fortune to grab James in the draft. From his initial NBA rise in Cleveland, to The Decision, to his hoped for (and realized) return to Cleveland, culminating in the 2016 NBA championship.

The rise and fall and rise of both Abdurraqib and James' Ohio experiences are presented in parallel, stitched together with love and skill. A frequent theme of flight and Ohio aviators in injected throughout the book, providing brief examinations of true aviators and astronauts from Ohio, alongside Abdurraqib's friends and family who died too soon and metaphorically flew from him.

Abdurraqib's strength of language and his emotional honesty make this a powerful book. It celebrates people who love strongly and sings a lovesong to Columbus as well.

The MCU Ranked: An Ongoing List

Grace, Jay, and I are big fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). It's been many years in the making and over 30 films deep. I'm updating on WWYG?! the MCU rankings that we have compiled as we have watched the movies together.

And yes . . . you'll notice that we decided to include non-Marvel movies in our rankings. I regret nothing about this.

KEY:

Infinity Saga

Phase 1

Phase 2

Phase 3

Multiverse Saga

Phase 4

Phase 5

Phase 6 (TK!)

(This list is always being updated, as new movies come out.) 

1. Spider-Man: Homecoming 

[n/r] Spider-Man Across the Spiderverse

2. Iron Man 3 

3. Spider-Man: No Way Home 

4. Spider-Man: Far From Home 

5. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings 

6. Avengers: Infinity War 

[n/r] Spider-Man Into the Spiderverse 

7. Black Panther 

8. Captain America: The Winter Soldier 

9. Guardians of the Galaxy 

[n/r] Deadpool 

10. Captain America: The First Avenger 

11. Thunderbolts*

12. Thor: Ragnarok 

13. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 3

14. Black Widow 

15. Avengers: Endgame 

16. Ant-Man 

17. Ant-Man and the Wasp 

18. Captain America: Civil War 

19. Iron Man 

20. Deadpool & Wolverine

[n/r] Deadpool 2

21. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

22. Thor 

23. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 

24. The Avengers 

25. The Marvels

26. Eternals 

27. Captain Marvel 

28. Iron Man 2 

29. Avengers: Age of Ultron 

30. Thor: Love and Thunder

31. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness 

32. Doctor Strange

[n/a] Shazam!

33. Captain America: Brave New World 

34. Thor: The Dark World 

35. The Incredible Hulk (Ed Norton edition) 

36. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Don't like our rankings? That's fine. I know there are others out there that will suit you better. Here is another web writers thoughts on the MCU phenomenon.

And what about the MCU TVverse?

I can't really scale them in the same list as the cinematic stories, so I'm creating a separate list here. (This includes the original ABC TV shows, the original Netflix shows, and the Disney+ series.)

1. Daredevil

2. Jessica Jones

3. Loki

4. She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

5. Agatha All Along

[special] Werewolf by Night

6. Daredevil: Born Again

7. What If . . . ?

8. Agent Carter

9. The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

10. WandaVision

11. Hawkeye

12. Ms. Marvel

13. The Punisher

14. Luke Cage

15. The Defenders

[special] The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special

16. Echo

17. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

18. Iron Fist

19. Cloak & Dagger

20. Moon Knight

21. Runaways

22. Inhumans

23. Secret Invasion

Perfect: The Enemy of the Good

(Nobody asked . . . but . . . )

One of my favorite phrases is "Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good."

I see this as a acknowledgement of the complex reality that we live in. We are not alone and we are not able to dictate and control all aspects of the world around us. People are complex and unpredictable and have intricate inner lives that they do or do not share freely. Motivations and beliefs and actions (both our own and those of others) are opaque. 

We see through a glass darkly.

We move through a world of others and they move through that same world. We try to be accountable to each other, but many act as if they don't owe anyone anything.

So many variables. So many uncertainties. 

How can we then expect perfection?

Believers know that we live in a fallen world. Perfection was lost and all we can do now is try to clear our way through the mud and mess that we have. Cane we do it with grace and with compassion? Will  we choose to do it selfishly and with disregard for anyone else?

Perfection is not achievable.

So . . . don't hold up actions in the vain belief for that perfection.

Don't create a utopia that you can't achieve when you can be trying to do something here and now. Knowing that mistakes will occur. But acting with knowledge and in good faith to protect and serve as many people as you can.

There are many enemies in this world.

Don't let perfection be the enemy of the good.

Getting into some high brow culture

(Full disclosure--I toyed with using a vulgar or course title using swear words or curse abbreviations for this post. You know, as a way of creating a clever dissonance with the content to come. But then I didn't. But that didn't stop me from taking even more time to type this out and explain it to you, so that you can pat me on the back for the joke I didn't make. I guess that is why people hate bloggers.)

Last Saturday, Lynda and I attended the Columbus Symphony Orchestra's performance at the Ohio Theater downtown.

You would be justified to think at this point Most of those words have never been presented in that particular order about something YOU did. 

But I did it because of the particular music they began the performance with: Aaron Copeland's Appalachian Spring. (I didn't know that the second piece would be based on letters written by Abraham Lincoln, but that was a nice bonus as well.) You can click this link to see some of the details of the show.

Copeland has been my favorite American composer since I was in high school. This was because of a set of circumstances that combine pop culture and marching band--so of course, it had to happen to me.

If you are of a certain age, you likely remember the "Beef. It's What's for Dinner" commercials that ran frequently on television during the Reagan Eighties. The jaunty upbeat symphonic music that linked cattle on the range to your Saturday night dinner table was courtesy of Aaron Copeland. (It is from the Rodeo suite, to be specific. The fourth movement is named "Hoedown.") Copeland became an even more mainstream name because of this bump in his musical exposure and brought awareness deep into South Georgia to me. 

I was further locked into Copeland soon after when my high school marching band capitalized on this popular awareness by incorporating the beats and some musical elements of "Hoedown" into the percussion feature of a halftime show one year. 

But that only linked me to Copeland himself. It didn't take very long for me to hear Appalachian Spring for the first time. And that was courtesy of the (Garfield) Cadets (of Bergen County) drum corps show of 1987.

(The final two minutes of this show . . . from the enormous musical hit of "Simple Gifts" through the scatter drill break and resolve into the march off of the field remains in my top three most impactful drum corps moments over 40 years after seeing it for the first time. Just chills-inducing.)

It was all over for me at that point.

I listened to a cassette recording of Appalachian Spring MANY times in the intervening high school years. In my bedroom at night, in the dark, with the volume down. Sometimes riding my bike around town via my Walkman. (When I wasn't otherwise listening to XTC's "Oranges & Lemons" or R.E.M.*)

But--to bounce back to the present.

It was a great thrill to enjoy such stellar music live. Copeland especially, but the entire program was great and we had such a good time. We are lucky to have the arts available to us here and I'm very happy we had the chance to be there and listen.

*More on this in an upcoming post.

George Orwell's "1984"--Chapter One excerpt

Before the Hate had proceeded for thirty seconds, uncontrollable exclamations of rage were breaking out from half the people in the room. The self-satisfied sheep-like face on the screen, and the terrifying power of the Eurasian army behind it, were too much to be borne: besides, the sight or even the thought of Goldstein produced fear and anger automatically. He was an object of hatred more constant than either Eurasia or Eastasia, since when Oceania was at war with one of these Powers it was generally at peace with the other. But what was strange was that although Goldstein was hated and despised by everybody, although every day and a thousand times a day, on platforms, on the telescreen, in newspapers, in books, his theories were refuted, smashed, ridiculed, held up to the general gaze for the pitiful rubbish that they were--in spite of all this, his influence never seemed to grow less. Always there were fresh dupes waiting to be seduced by him. A day never passed when spies and saboteurs acting under his directions were not unmasked by the Thought Police. He was the commander of a vast shadowy army, an underground network of conspirators dedicated to the overthrow of the State. The Brotherhood, its name was supposed to be. . . . 

In its second minute the Hate rose to a frenzy. People were leaping up and down in their places and shouting at the tops of their voices in an effort to drown the maddening bleating voice that came from the screen. The little sandy-haired woman had turned bright pink, and her mouth was opening and shutting like that of a landed fish. Even O'Brien's heavy face was flushed. He was sitting very straight in his chair, his powerful chest swelling and quivering as though he were standing up to the assault of a wave. The dark-haired girl behind Winston had begun crying out 'Swine! Swine! Swine!' and suddenly she picked up a heavy Newspeak dictionary and flung it at the screen. It struck Goldstein's nose and bounced off; the voice continued inexorably. In a lucid moment Winston found that he was shouting with the others and kicking his heel violently against the rung of his chair. The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that one was obliged to act a part, but, on the contrary, that it was impossible to avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretence was always unnecessary. A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge-hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one's will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract, undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blowlamp. Thus, at one moment Winston's hatred was not turned against Goldstein at all, but, on the contrary, against Big Brother, the Party, and the Thought Police; and at such moments his heart went out to the lonely, derided heretic on the screen, sole guardian of truth and sanity in a world of lies. And yet the very next instant he was at one with the people about him, and all that was said of Goldstein seemed to him to be true. . . . 

The Hate rose to its climax. . . . [Then] the hostile figure melted into the face of Big Brother, black-haired, black-moustachio'd, full of power and mysterious calm, and so vast that it almost filled up the screen. Nobody heard what Big Brother was saying. It was merely a few words of encouragement, the sort of words that are uttered in the din of battle, not distinguishable individually but restoring confidence by the fact of being spoken. Then the face of Big Brother faded away again, and instead the three slogans of the Party stood out in bold capitals: 

WAR IS PEACE 

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY 

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH 

But the face of Big Brother seemed to persist for several seconds on the screen, as though the impact that it had made on everyone's eyeballs was too vivid to wear off immediately. The little sandy-haired woman had flung herself forward over the back of the chair in front of her. With a tremulous murmur that sounded like 'My Saviour!' she extended her arms towards the screen. Then she buried her face in her hands. It was apparent that she was uttering a prayer. 

At this moment the entire group of people broke into a deep, slow, rhythmical chant of 'B-B!...B-B!'--over and over again, very slowly, with a long pause between the first 'B' and the second--a heavy, murmurous sound, somehow curiously savage, in the background of which one seemed to hear the stamp of naked feet and the throbbing of tom-toms. For perhaps as much as thirty seconds they kept it up. It was a refrain that was often heard in moments of overwhelming emotion. Partly it was a sort of hymn to the wisdom and majesty of Big Brother, but still more it was an act of self-hypnosis, a deliberate drowning of consciousness by means of rhythmic noise. . . .

[Source: https://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks01/0100021.txt]

Ft. Bragg and Dog Whistling in the Dark

Today, the nation's Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth (nee National Guard veteran and Fox News media persona) renamed the military base Fort Liberty and restored implemented the old new name of Fort Bragg.

(You can read about it in explanatory detail here: https://www.cnn.com/2025/02/10/politics/hegseth-fort-bragg/index.html)

You might--as I initially did--think that this is another MAGA example of reclaiming America and striking down Woke overreach. And it is that. But not (?) in the direction that is at first obvious. 

The Bragg being honored here is not the original Bragg who was indeed a Civil War general and thus was the target for renaming initially by the well-meaning politicians and people who wanted to avoid honoring people in active rebellion against the United States. Rather, as Hegseth explained, this Bragg is a World War II private who won a Silver Star and a Purple Heart.

So . . . that is progress in a sense. At least we aren't returning to the Bragg that was considered "one of the worst generals of the Civil War" and someone who was "widely disliked . . ."

And still . . . why waste even a few minutes of the government's time? What was wrong with promoting the concept of (Fort) Liberty? 

And even the most important part of this act (in my opinion) . . . is the calculated way that Hegseth has his cake and eats it too. To most people who see the headline and scroll along with their day, they will think that an actual restoration to the Confederate Bragg was achieved. And those people to whom that matters will feel a frisson of excitement that the libs were owned again. Woke was weakened and MAGA rose again.

Was that Hegseth's intent? Did he want the easy headline, assuming that a deeper investigation would not really occur. And if it did, he would have coverage by pivoting to the matching name but for a better person?

I don't know. But the part of me that is daily angry about the performative nature of politicians feels that this is just another example of superficial crap that shows how shallow people in power truly are and how much time and energy is wasted on stuff that doesn't actually end up helping anyone.

(And yeah, I wasted 10 to 15 minutes writing out this to be read by no one.)

Elon Musk, the Treasury Department, and partisanship

Over the weekend, there were many credible news reports that Elon Musk--Tesla owner and President Donald Trump friend--initiated access into the U.S. Treasury Department's computer system. The people acting on Musk's behalf are reported to be members of the Department of Government Efficiency "group" that has no actual legal basis--as it has not been created by or voted upon by the U.S. Congress.

These six young men who have gained access to the Treasury Department are not government officials. They have not been vetted by our elected representatives. They are therefore operating outside of law and government authorization. It would be no different than if I showed up to the Treasury Department and gained access to these systems myself. I have no authority to do it and I would be caught and prosecuted for doing so.

Elon Musk is also NOT an elected official. He does not represent in any legal way the United States of America. He has not had public hearings in front of the U.S. Senate. He has not been subject to questions by our political leaders. He is operating under some very vague "permission" given by the president but there is no legal scaffold surrounding anything Musk is doing right now.

The information that Musk's men have access to is personal identification and financial information for federal employees, taxpayers, and so many others. The U.S. Treasury department is the agency responsible for paying out government money to wherever it goes. That includes all of the American taxpayers that get refunds. And even if you don't get a refund, you might get Medicare or Medicaid payments or you might get monthly Social Security payments. The government has stored that information in these computer networks to send out all of these payments. This sort of private information can be used to track individuals throughout their personal and financial lives. When misused, it can wreck families, finances, and lives. And--again--the people who have now forced themselves into possession of it have NO LEGAL BASIS for doing this.

For those of you who voted for Donald Trump in the November 2024 elections . . . is this what you envisioned? 

I'm confident that you disliked Democrats and what the Democratic Party supported. You thought Joe Biden was ineffectual and that you wanted a strong personality in the White House. You may have been uneasy with what you believe are changing social and moral norms in the country today.

But did you want laws ignored?

Did you want people with no oversight or legal guardrails gaining access to sensitive private information, including your finances?

This type of ungovernable, illegal activity is very dangerous and needs to be taken seriously.

These are violations of law and they are high crimes and misdemeanors that qualify for yet another impeachment process for President Trump's administration. Will the members of the House of Representatives stand up to their oath of office to support and defend the Constitution of the United States? Will the people we elected represent us and defend the law that they claim to revere?

George W. Bush's thoughts (at one moment in time) on immigration enforcement

I know intellectually that if you read any politician's speeches in any sort of depth, you will find contradictions. So cherry-picking a speech given on a particular day, on a specific subject, and further narrowing your excerpt to an isolated paragraph is . . . not on solid rhetorical ground.

BUT! 

I'm trying to refute POTUS 47, Donald J. Trump, who has no rhetorical center at all and so, I guess it's fair game to fight fire with fire? I'd say his political opinions spin like a weather vane, but Trump's particular brand of hate-filled politics is depressingly consistent in the fact that it must:

a. benefit him above all

b. help him retain power, influence, and punish his enemies (see a.), and 

c. attack the weak and those who aren't in his camp.

ANYWAY . . .

here is something President George W. Bush said in a May 15, 2006 speech about the need for immigration reform:

America needs to conduct this debate on immigration in a reasoned and respectful tone. Feelings run deep on this issue, and as we work it out, all of us need to keep some things in mind. We cannot build a unified country by inciting people to anger, or playing on anyone's fears, or exploiting the issue of immigration for political gain. We must always remember that real lives will be affected by our debates and decisions, and that every human being has dignity and value no matter what their citizenship papers say.

I've never been a fan of the 43rd president. But he is so much more of a reasonable human being and political opponent than Donald Trump is. I've never voted Republican in my life and I'm not about to start now. But the way that Trump has captured and reshaped the GOP in his own fun-house way is disgusting. 

Quotes for My Time

Passages that caught my eye while reading Erik Larson's The Demon of Unrest--a book describing the political and personal turmoil leading up to the attack on Fort Sumter in April 1861 (the precursor of the American Civil War.)

"There was a growing fear that maybe South Carolina's best days were behind her. Planters had once constituted the richest class in America, wrote Dennis Hart Mahan, a New York-born, Virginia-raised professor at West Point in a November 1860 letter to a friend. 'But when commerce, manufacturers, the mechanical arts disturbed this condition of things, and amassed wealth that could pretend to more lavish luxury than planting, then came in, I fear, this demon of unrest which has been the utmost sole disturber of the last for years past.' Mahan, whose son Alfred would grow up to become a prominent naval historian, argued that rather than join the rush to modernity, South Carolina--'this arrogant little state'--had grown even more insular." 

"Lincoln's concern lay elsewhere. . . . 'Our adversaries have us more clearly at disadvantage, on the second Wednesday of February, when the votes should be officially counted.' Here he referred to the constitutionally mandated final count and certification of the electoral vote, to be conducted in the House on February 13, 1861, by Buchanan's vice president. Ordinarily this would be the most routine of events, a celebration of the constitution and of peaceful succession, but the tensions of the times raised all manner of concern, especially given the fact that the vice president, the man who would count and certify the electoral votes, was Southern Democrat John C. Breckenridge of Kentucky, who not only sympathized with the South but had been Lincoln's leading opponent in the presidential election. 'If the two Houses refuse to meet at all, or meet without a quorum of each, where shall we be?' Lincoln wrote."

"Even as he said this, however, concern in Washington mounted that the electoral count might be disrupted. That day crowds of irate Southerners had gathered in Washington and converged on the Capitol clamoring to get inside. General Scott, however, was well prepared. Soldiers manned the entrances and demanded to see passes before letting anyone in. Scott had positioned caches of arms through the building. A regiment of troops in plain clothes circulated among the crowd to stop any trouble before it started. The throng outside grew annoyed at being barred from entry and began firing off obscenities like grapeshot. If words would kill, one observer wrote, 'the amount of profanity launched forth against the guards would have completely annihilated them.'"

"Russell understood, however, that the true cause of the conflict, no matter how hard anyone tried to disguise it, was slavery. He called it a 'curse' and likened it to a cancer whose inner damage was masked by the victim's outward appearance of health. he marveled that the South seemed intent on staking its destiny on ground that the rest of the world had abandoned. 'Never,' he wrote, 'did a people enter a war so utterly destitute of any reason for waging it.'"

"Alexis de Tocqueville had observed this [expectation of mastery and command] aspect of the planter class two decades earlier in his Democracy in America and attributed it to slavery. 'The citizens of the Southern states becomes a sort of domestic dictator from infancy,' he wrote. 'The first notion he acquires in life is, that he was born to command, and the first habitat he contracts is that of ruling without resistance. His education tends, then, to give him the character of a haughty and hasty man,--irascible, violent, ardent in his desires, impatient of obstacles but easily discouraged if he cannot succeed upon his first attempt.'"

Football Counter-Programming 2025: Championship Game Edition

No doubt about it. I've got my work cut out for me this week.

How do I successfully counter-program against the college football championship game? Especially when I'm living smack dab in the middle of ground zero for one of the teams participating in said game?

The best way that I can think?

Let's talk about God.

What other person/concept/animus/motivational force/cultural sports trope can impact as many (more, I would suggest) people as a college football fanbase?

Here is a clip from tOSU's last minute touchdown that sealed the University of Texas's loss. (Sorry that I could not embed the video into this blog post as I originally wished. Take it up with Meta.) 

If you paid any attention to college football in the wake of last week's semi-final game, you have seen this clip. But you might not have seen it from this angle. At the end, you see a Buckeye player get down on his knees in the endzone and (I presume) briefly thank God while he watches the play unfold down the field in front of him.

Here is a properly embedded YouTube video of a segment of the High School football movie Friday Night Lights.

To state the obvious . . . this clip shows both teams in their respective locker rooms praying the Lord's Prayer as they prepare for the second half of their football game.

What are we to make of these things?

Anything at all?

God and religion are regularly invoked for many American sporting contests every week. He/She/It will definitely be called upon before, during, and after the Championship game this Monday.

I'm not here to tell you if you are right or wrong to do this.

Personally, I don't think that God spends much time at all considering the outcome of sporting contests. 

But since I DO happen to believe God is omniscient and all-powerful, He/She/It most certainly can get involved. 

(Yet . . . if that were true, then why did the Atlanta Braves lose so many World Series in the 1990s?)

Religion and football have a strong connection with both of the teams playing in this year's College Football Championship. One--more obvious than the other, perhaps? But let's begin with my hometown team--of which I am an incomplete alumnus. (But I know that my participation in their games matters not to the outcome.)

ANYWAY . . . the Ohio State University is one of the most well-funded and most successful and most talented (which attribute matters most?) football teams in forever. But beyond the on-field exploits, THE knows how to galvanize and incentivize the fan base. And they will use what they have at hand. 

And what do they have at hand?

• Lots of Midwestern values
• Lots of committed people with camera phones, and 
• A handy-dandy multistory religious icon in for form of the Solid Rock Church's "Touchdown Jesus."

Please tell me that you've heard of Touchdown Jesus. A massive effigy of a resurrecting Jesus coming out of the earth that towered over the highways north of Cincinnati, Ohio. (It's gone now--spectacularly destroyed by a lightning strike. It's eventual replacement didn't nearly have the in your God-fearing face as the original.)

What made Touchdown Jesus so great for Ohio State is that Our Lord Savior's pose of glory fit so well with one of tOSU best meme's: the O-H-I-O camera pose with your favorite football friends. Just get of your friends--obviously the H to take over camera duty. And bam . . . you've got the Son of God weighing in with his sacred approval of the Buckeyes!

But wait . . . who are the Buckeye's playing in this game?

checks notes

Oh!

Notre Dame, you say?

The most Catholic and religious school in the history of college football?

Yikes! How are the Buckeyes gonna defeat that? But let's not jump to immediate conclusions. What attributes does Notre Dame have?

• Lots of Midwestern values
• Lots of committed people with camera phones, and 
• A handy-dandy multistory religious icon in the form of the original? "Touchdown Jesus."

Um . . . hmm. Well . . . shoot.

Who wins?

Football loving Christians?

Who loses?

Satan and people who don't care about sports?

In football terms it might be a coin toss needed to decide the winner. But I happen to think that the O-H-I-O camera pose is a better visual than ND's TD Jesus mural. You can't get the people as clearly involved in the Notre Dame version.

You can pray to whomever you want on Monday. And maybe He/She/It will take pity on your prayer. But I'm here also. And I'm praying my own prayer. That you will listen to me just this one more time for this season and maybe NOT watch the game.

Read a book. Take a walk. Chop some wood for your fireplace. Give a David Lynch movie a try. Or just go into a small room and sit quietly for a few hours. 

Call it meditation. 

Call it prayer. 

Call it whatever you want. 

Because no matter what you choose to do, you can't affect the outcome of the game itself.

Thanks for hanging in there with me for another season of FC-P. Get a new hobby until it all comes back around again next year.

Football Counter-Programming 2024 . . . wait . . . 2025: CFPlayoff Edition

 Is this a betrayal?

(for context . . . this is a pre-game photo from me within Ohio Stadium as the Ohio State Buckeyes hosted the University of Tennessee on December 21, 2024)

. . . It is, therefore . . . perhaps . . . antithetical to the spirit of the Football Counter-Programming project. But, perhaps the American saying "Only Nixon could go to China" is appropriate here. Only by entering the belly of the beast can I authoritatively counsel you on  how to effectively counter-program and fight against the college football monolith.

And how hard it is to do so when the College Football Playoffs surround us! 

When the weather in many places is cold (as it was so VERY cold on the night I was in attendance) and so your alternative options are limited to the indoors. 

And the siren call of the TV light is strong. 

And the hype of the playoffs is loud. (As loud as Buckeye fans witnessing the first half beat-down administered on the UT Volunteers.)

How hard is it to resist when your local team is advancing in dramatic and dominant ways? When the endorphins flow and your pleasure centers are flooded drive after drive with another score?

But don't give up! Because if you can find a way to resist one week at a time, the grind of games reduces the number of teams day after day. And your own personal connection (if any!) to the competing teams becomes less relevant as eliminations occur.

Maybe this has already happened for you?

Welcome brothers and sisters from Idaho, from Oregon, from Arizona! From elsewhere! Join the counter-programmed masses who have no rooting interest! Remember that whether you rooted or not had no demonstratable effect on the team's performance. (This can be proven by examining data on the Ohio State's team's performance from the Michigan game to the Tennessee game to the Oregon game. No fan involvement could generate or explain what happened there.)

For those still within the football rooting vortex . . . what should you do? How can you resist?

I suggest that you lean into the recent holidays and the chronology of now. If you got new books as Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwaanza gifts then embrace reading! There are fewer more effective things to fight sports than reading fiction, non-fiction, whatever. Always a good use of time. But if reading is not your thing, then make a 2025 New Year's Resolution to fill that football time with something else. Something new that occupies your hands, your mind, or your entire soul. 

Exercise!

Craft! 

Write!

Fight!

Do what you must to define yourself against the creep of football!

And remember . . . you will receive no prizes. No cash. Nothing of tangible value if your alma mater wins the College Football Playoff. Don't let it define you!

***

(thank you to my long-time friend Aaron, who kindly invited me to join him at the UT Playoff game; I find that smiling for the camera generated heat during the frigid temperatures of late December in Ohio; it should in no way suggest that I had a wonderful and unique experience with a great guy.)