Why do I do it?

It's a valid question . . . do I seriously think, even in my most deepest, most private desires, that this blogging thing will EVER be more than just something I do.

Do I think, even one small iota, that it will suddenly get discovered by someone and become a highly-read site? What constitutes that anyway . . . 100 readers per day, 1,000 per day, 10, 000 hits a month? What is a undeniable quantity for "blogging success?"

Do I ever dream that this will become more than just a hobby. Certainly, it can't be a job in and of itself. Who would pay me to do this (or something like it) and for how long, really? You can't make a living at it.

So . . . why?

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Hey guess what? I ate a black-and-white cookie today! You know, the one in the Seinfeld episode where they are waiting for a chocolate Bobka to take to a party and Jerry is boasting that he has a nonvomit streak going since 1980? But he decides to eat the Black-and-White cookie ("Two races of flavor living together" . . . "Look to the cookie!") and he throws up? Well, a New York vendor came to give a presentation to our managers at work today and they brought some of the cookies with them. If you have never had one, it looks like a good sized pancake with the two types of icing on top, divided clearly down the middle. The icing has a very strong, pleasing cocoa taste.

I recommend them.

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Hey Maureen Dowd, I think you got it wrong. Men prefer women who are their equal, but aren't afraid to put on a maid's uniform if the mood is right.

Maybe I'm wrong--and I'm certainly no expert on the thinking and writings of Dowd.

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Do I watch Alton Brown's Good Eats because I admire the simplicity of his recipes? (Yes.)
Do I harbor illusions that I'll get off my lazy, predictable butt and actually try his recipes? (Every once in a blue moon, but not frequently enough.)
Do I really do it to revel in the ultra coolness of his kitchen that I want desperately? (Oh yes! From the cabinets to the cookware to the fancy schmancy measuring cups. Does this REALLY and TRULY mean I'm gay? No; I've just got good taste and an appreciation for design.)
Does this mean I'm gonna go to my Polaris-area Kitchens and Things to get all of Alton's gear? (Sadly . . . no.)

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Just got the kids to bed. It is amazing how accommodating Ruth is when Tegan isn't here. There literally is a night and day type difference. She doesn't fuss, she wants me to read her books, she has no problem letting me rock her and saying prayers. It is a wonderful feeling to feel needed by her. And she actually enjoyed it, which was part of the fun. But we sang songs ("Wheels on the Bus," "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed," and a couple of verses of "Old MacDonald"). My kids sure love the classics, don't they?

Then Ariel told me a story, showing me the pictures that she had drawn. And then she was down to bed.

They were very good all night really. The pancakes that I made for dinner weren't the best that I have ever made--far from it actually. I decided to try and make Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes, but I don't have a form or anything, I just tried to free form them. Well, it didn't exactly come out in any recognizable shape. But it still cooked properly and tasted good.

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So, I don't know why I do it. Obviously I find it fun. It gives me a bit of a creative outlet. It gives me a chance to connect with my family. But, mostly, I guess I do it because I can. It is simple and it is free. I must think that what I have to say is important, whether it is or not. And I guess I think I have a unique perspective on things that no one else can have. So, there is a bit of arrogance in there as well.

Okay, no more introspection. More random stuff to come.